Wednesday, October 31, 2012

So if you are my friend and I am in your phone as: Monica will dial 666 to find me. Happy Halloween.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

So remember how I was in Chicago 2 weeks ago....*warning run on sentence following* well when I wasn't caking it, I was here :) -I may or may not have bought an annual pass to The Art Institute of Chicago because it was cheaper then 3 days admission and seeing as I was in Chicago for 4 days, I knew with the museum being 2 blocks from the pastry school, I would be there at least twice and I am sure I can get back to Chicago once more in the next year to make it worth my while :) And how could you not want to spend your early evening here:
Here are a few new favorites I found:
love this Rothko, not sure who did the angel but she is so etherial
nope not a Pollock, but so beautiful
 my new favorite VanGogh
the study for my favorite painting
and my favorite painting, of all time...Seraut

Monday, October 29, 2012

DBD #3 & 4 All American Feast: oh this one is my favorite! As a disclaimer the guy was really great, I was really excited, he was attractive, smart, funny, and then he dissed my hair, bad move jackass. Oh ya forgot to mention I will be calling him a jackass from time to time. We met at the restaurant and the first comment was:

"I broke my ban on women when I saw your profile on LDSsingles"
"so is that patriot hair?"
"you know, you look like a pioneer or like a patriot soldier with that hair."
"um it rained and I didn't bring an umbrella so I had to put my hair up."

then he dissed my favorite I leaned across to grab an extra napkin he inhaled and said:

"you smell like OFF"
"the mosquito repelant?"
"well it's Geurlain from Paris and it is my favorite"
"well it smells like OFF"

So after insulting my hair, perfume, nails, it just kept going. Dinner wasn't all that bad, the restaurant was noisy so we didn't really get to talk but he did walk me to my car and we talked there. Oh did I say we talked I meant he continued to find flaws.

"um how old IS your car", "do you ever wash it" -no jackass in the 12 years I have owned it I have never washed it. "really your hair does look like a patriot"

It was also at this juncture that I found out he was 35, lived with his parents who used to be Miss America Judge consultants, and he had put off college to pursue a career in professional wrestling! And due to the association with Miss America all his life, it was then I realized without: chicken cutlets -those fake boob things-, eyelash extensions, a spray tan, spanx, bleached teeth, blown out hair, and airbrushed make-up, I would never never be "enough". He didn't care what I did, what I'd done, what I was passionate about, or what made me tick. To All America Feast I was simply a flawed object unworthy of his majesty. But don't worry a few weeks later he texted me and said while he wasn't interested in me in any way shape or form, if I wanted to be, I could be his "wing bit*h" and help him find a "hottie". Thanks but no thanks, I have a few toe nails to rip out after I pull out each leg hair individually because that just sounds more fun than shaving.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

I went to museum and tucked snuggly in the basement, to the left of the stairs, I found this somewhat "hidden" gem....the 3rd largest paperweight collection in the world. It was amazing, amusing, and held my attention much longer than most men :)

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Dear Usher,

for years I have wondered if paying $2,700 + $300 shipping for Kenza was the worst mistake of my life. Then I think of all the money I spent commuting to my last boyfriend's place, and 11 months with him was way more expensive, wonderful! painful to recover from, wouldn't change it, but pricey. So back to my point, thank you for being this guy:

"Usher could not resist getting a new puppy Thursday night. The "Numb" singer purchased a female Goldendoodle for $12,000 at the Second Annual Pencils Of Promise Gala in Guastavino's in New York."

because it makes me feel a whole lot better about being this girl :) #whatnow

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Sexy? it's all in how you look at it: it is amazing, I love large diamonds, and iridescent pearls, I love my collection of: little black dresses, pencil skirts, and sky high heels, I love jet black mascara, fancy jammies, and flat ironed tresses, I love glossy lips, and luscious perfumes....but at the end of the day, I feel *dare I say it.... sexiest ....when I am in this: chef coat {which really does nothing for your figure}, hair up, no make-up, and kitchen safe shoes. Now that I think about it, it's not sexy at all, but it sure makes my insides happy :)
however, in the coat, I put up with less than usual and don't take any flack :)

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Semper Fi baby! so remember how I had my purse stolen at a gas station? Well there is only 1 diesel gas station in the area and a few nights ago I was so low I had to return to the scene of the crime. I was not thrilled. Stepped out of my car, locked it, took the keys with me, then started to pump the gas. Then from the corner of my eye a guy starts walking towards me, I look over, he's a ginger so I am not worried :).  He walks right up to me and starts a conversation? blah blah he's a marine down by Quantico, I live in DC, blah blah blah...."so can I get your #?" and I gave it to him.  And he called, and we went out. And we had this gem of a conversation:

"ya when I was telling the boys back at the barracks about you, I said you looked like Robin Scherbatsky and I was really excited about tonight."
-this lady...and I am okay with that-
and my response:

"Well thank you. But you should know you aren't going to get in my pants tonight or ever. Because little did you know, you can go back to the barracks tonight and tell the boys you picked yourself up a Mormon at the gas station, hoorah {threw in the coast guard call just to patronize him}."

his response was, colorful. And we had a really good time. But I am not sure he enjoyed his night as much as I enjoyed seeing his face when I told him I was Mormon and it registered that he wasn't getting  any :) Semper Fi baby.

Friday, October 19, 2012

I picked up Kenza tonight, she didn't want to go... thanks Ruth for watching her while I was in Chicago ....and Conor, thanks for nothing! She loves you more than me 

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Dependent: it is interesting as we grow and continue in life. We start as children completely dependent, then we progress and -hopefully- become independent. Here is where some people hit a rut. They think this is it. You are independent and you have arrived! You can stop. You can live alone, work alone, eat, drink, and sleep alone. You are an independent being, and you have arrived. You can make decisions, move cities, change jobs, you can do it all...on your own. Independent however, is not the last step. If you are simply independent you are still in a bit of a juvenile phase, alone is easy, it is selfish, it is predictable, it is safe. What you need is to become interdependent.  It is the last phase of dependency and by far the most difficult I feel, because it requires such honesty. One of my favorite relationships I have ever had with a man ended, because of this. He wanted to do life alone, and even though we loved each other, it did not out weigh his desire to prove he could do a very difficult phase in his life all on his own. {this of course is my analysis, I am sure if I were to reconnect and ask him he would deny it, but it's my blog so I write what I want} Not sure why I thought of that today here in Chicago but I did, while walking along the river.  And I really do think it is an important concept, one I would do well to re-evaluate because being single and being independent unfortunately favor each other, and act like 2 peas in a pod. -but they aren't!-

the following photo has nothing to do with what I just wrote....but who doesn't love the Chicago bean?

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Still: I think that you can only truly get a feeling for a city when you have seen it at it's best and at it's worst. I think in the early mornings when commuters are still dreaming, and taxi ignitions are off, when "Closed" signs appear in most the windows and the sun is just rising, that is when a city is at it's best. Metra dropped me off in the city @ 6:15a today. It was still dark, and with the exception of the road crews finishing up their work, their wasn't a sound in the city. No horns honking, no cell phones, no talking, no radio blaring, it was just still....

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Check List: my most recent list:

*book flight to Chicago_____check
*confirm rental car_____check
*pack knives in CHECKED bagged not carry-on_____check
*press chef jacket_____check
*get stoked for a week at French Pastry School_____check!
*cell phone, iPad, iPod chargers_____check
*get reading material for the plane _____ almost, that happens at the airport {the usual shmut magazines, People, Us Weekly, and some bridal magazine, and again not because I am getting married! I like the cakes and sparkly rings :)}

in all honesty I am a bit nervous, the last time that I was in Chicago I was there for 6 wonderful months and a lot was going on. I had just gotten engaged, I was living with my uncle who's marriage was failing, unbeknownst to me, which led to me moving out and living in my car in a parking garage for almost a month, and a few other little snippets. Since then I have been avoiding the city. I know it sounds silly, I usually take things straight on, timid is not my go to state. Even more than that, it's not a weird boyfriend, or a nasty neighbor, it's just a city, and a wonderful one at that, but it is one full of memories. So tomorrow I will hop on a plane and with anxious anticipation step foot, and make new memories, hopefully better ones, once again in the windy city of Chicago.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Good Morning Glorious Thursday! the fall chill is out in full swing, my sweaters have been granted momentary solace in my closet {a big step up from being shoved in bags in the storage shed}, there are only 2 1/2 more days before I head to Chicago for Marina Sousa's 4 day cake course....but alas, while life is bliss, I wish I had a little of this -see below- today because, let's face it, who doesn't want to lunch with Jen and Teresa? {or Gary, Nick, Audrey, Hannah, Max, Jake, Lil, or Beth....that's my family in case you got lost} 

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Halloween is coming! So have you seen this??? Just because you can, doesn't mean you should: creative genius can sometimes be just plain stupid. But, these would make perfect footwear for Hannibal Lecter. 

Monday, October 8, 2012

Heaven help me!: I am a terrible terrible person. This blasted mouth! So I get onto the online playground for misfit toys today {my recent online dating site} and the IM window pops up..."yay!" I think, then I realize it is someone I don't know, have never seen, and he is 43 and has never been married. I could feel a blog post from a mile away :) so I answer is our conversation, it is a bit long and so awkward. He is the blue text, I am pink, my unspoken thoughts are black:

Didn't you grow up here?
I sure did. Born and raised in Cedar Hills
How long have you lived back east?
5 years
How is single life back there? Hi I am ____ it says you are divorced, are you past the point of being newly single now?
I don't know what that point is? However, I am Monica
So you just wish a guy that has the same likes as you and that you're attracted too knocks on your door one day? 
Well if he likes having his nails french tipped all the time, wearing lady perfume, and high heels....we are going to have a problem.
Any bf's since your divorce? and prospects back in DC? 
One, but work changed, life changed. We still keep in touch. As for prospects, there are a few but nothing serious
What's your favorite part on a man?
and here is where I wanted to really mess with him!! think of me and use your darker imagination.....lower....yep I wanted to say that :) but I didn't, instead I was good and said: Arms 
Does that make you weak in the knees when you're cuddling and a man wraps his arms around you and kisses you deeply?
barf barf gag gag kiss me deeply? as opposed to shallowly? Hasn't happened for a while, but I am sure it would. 
Maybe we should never meet? My specialty is soft kisses on the back of the neck and shoulders.  lol
-wait soft? what happened to deeply? and lol? hold it, I thought that was reserved for middle school girls! you are 43 and male! and soft kisses are you specialty- Mine is falling asleep 1/2 through the movie and snoring 
I think you'd be a fun date. 
I am not you are wrong, I am hairy, moley, and toothless but instead I said: I don't know, I am bit sarcastic at first, it is my mechanism when I am nervous
 I'm sarcastic at first, because I am sarcastic.  ll
Why all the smiley faces
When are you coming to utah next?
I want to go to Fiji or Bali next. 
Oh Bali would be wonderful. From what I hear it is breathtaking.
That would be a fun trip. Although staying in a cabana on the ocean could be trouble?  lol
Good night I feel like i am talking to a 24 year old frat guy

and then he logged off and I felt terrible. Don't worry I wrote him an apology. It takes guts to IM a total stranger, but {sigh little tear} this is a sad sad little playground for misfits toys, and I don't think I know how to play with them. Batteries not included. Carefully read ALL instructions. 

Saturday, October 6, 2012

she smiles when she sleeps, she waits patiently for food, she always sits like a lady

she is always in the middle of the action, when her stubby legs get tired...she rides in style

she HATES the cone of shame

she wins every staring contest, she sneaks onto my bed when I am @ work

she is a bit vain...."Monica look at how good I look from my left side, even straight on, actually even from my right side! you are so lucky I am your dog"

she is never amused when I make her pose for pictures, she sleeps with her legs like this

she steals my clothes

Friday, October 5, 2012

A friend and I {Hi Ruth :)} found ourselves free on a weekday morning! With our nanny babies safely tucked in their various school classes, there was only one thing to do....get a very healthy breakfast to start off our day. Ruth and I met 8 years ago this December in Bordeaux. France and as we reminisced. as we often do, we decided authentic as possible was what we needed. Thank goodness P&C market had just that...a pain au and a croissant and then some not so authentic but so good Door County Cherry Cola and 7-up. I can't wait for next week's need!