Picturemail:yesterday I needed to write a letter, I had hurt someone I love, I didn't have internet so at 7am on Sunday I knew Ruth would be up so I headed over to poach hers....correction Kenza and I headed over to poach hers...hours in...yep it was a big hurt it so the letter took a while....I get a text....thanks Ruth for capturing my confusion/confession.

With my next dividend check which should be....oh ya I don't have stocks so never: after a day of necessity shopping: food, Target, gas etc. Ruth and I stopped in for a little unnecessity shopping {and yes I know unnecessity isn't a word but today I like it} @Anthropologie...

oh hello party dress, monograms are always in style, and I love butter, but from this...mmm

this would make pies that much better, and I think a demolished apt warrants these

needed for each of my 29 spices....and then a bigger kitchen :), and don't we all need bollywood?

sweet dreams made possible by over $1000 in bedding, and Reese's puffs need a new home

Update: you know when there is an ugly baby you can't stop staring at? or the really questionable dancing style of that couple at swing last night? well because I know you are dying to see what has been going on....these pics aren't the greatest because they were taken with my phone, I have better ones that I took with the fish eye that I put on when I can do a proper before and after....so here is the improper, "before they tore out the walls and I just had water damage" and "after they took out all the drywall, insulation, and carpet"

Regrowth:I saw Spiderman a few days ago; in the movie this Dr. Connors turns into a lizard; in one scene Peter Parker rips off the lizards tail….don’t worry it grows back. I got to thinking….I have been thinking about this long before Spiderman….about our “adjustments” in life. We go through life, then something we are use to is taken away, now we have to get used to not having it’s “weight”, not using it, we have to adjust. Over time something will come and fill it’s place just as we begin to fully function without it and then bam! once again we will have to adjust possibly mulling around like a bull in a china shop in the regrowth process. Over and over this will happen. Does it keep us sharp? Does it keep us young? Does it keep us malleable? I have no idea, no solid answers, but I think my tail just fell off and I am having to adjust.

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*as a disclaimer I have nothing against people who only publish the good, good for you, glad that works for you, your blogs are lovely, however that doesn't work for me* XoxXOo

Faux v. pas-faux: I read some blogs and they are all, "rainbows and unicorns, life is perfect I cook uber healthy vegan meals for my husband and 4 kids, I refinish antique furniture, and sew baby blankets for freezing children in Africa, my nails are always painted and I road bike 50 miles a day" well thumbs up unrealistic blogger who makes me feel worthless and unworthy of my vacant uterus. I am not that type blogger. So here is a slice of faux vs. pas-faux "blogger" life. If I was the the first mentioned type I would post something like this:

"I just moved into the cutest little place ever!!! :) it is in DC and I luv it!!!!! I feel like I am in the nesting phase {I Heart Nesting} here are my newest purchases for my darling place....clever huh I used the soap holder as a bobby pin holder and the lotion bottle as a bottle for my mouthwash. Can't wait to show you the rest {giggle giggle} thanks Ikea for this $12.99 bargain"

Thanks for nothing. What she isn't showing you is what is really going....and that when she turns around from taking pictures on her really great tile cause it's the only clean surface, she turns around to this:

"I just moved into a charming place in DC however, 2 hours after moving in, water started leaking from the ceiling and stopped 72 hours later when maintenance could fit it into their busy schedule. As a result, I can't move into the bedroom or the closets due to mold and now my life looks like this:

• Can't get to my fridge so I eat beef jerky 3x a day that I store next to my pajamas.
• Tried to move into the kitchen but realized stuffs in my way so I stopped after 1/4 cabinet

• I keep important things on the TV
• Kenza just lays there and I can hear her sighing, "I left my gated community complete with pools and great backyard for this? you suck!"

Voila how do you like them rainbows :) sincerely, pas-faux

Wonder: I realize this is often used as a verb, however sometimes I use it as an adjective.....and then today, new appreciation for the word "wonder" entered my realm of understanding. Wanted to take a shower, needed to install the new shower head, had no idea where scissors were and this package was a beast! Enter Wonder {yep its a crowbar, yep I felt a bit like a neanderthal, it was nice :) MK like smash}, problem solved.

yes I replaced my battery and my fuel filter today in a dress, yes I received lots of stares and one guy shaking his head, yes when I put the new battery in the car alarm went of for about 5 min until I found the wrench to unhook the newly placed battery, yes a quick google search and a call into Dad fixed that problem :) 12 years later and the Jetta is still crankin. {And did I mention I fixed it in a dress, cause I did}.

Reprieve: it almost taunts like a mirage, taking the last ounce of what feels like your very soul. Just one more___{add noun of choice like: day/chapter/load/patient/hour/etc}___. The blur that has taken the place of clarity, the delicate pain making it's presence ever known as it finds its way through your body. You reach the top only to realize your oasis was a farce. The demands taunt because they know that while you tire, you will never give up.

ya so maybe that was a little dramatic.....I went to move into my new apartment today and only after moving in all my stuff {!!} did I notice the leak in the bedroom closet complete with mold :( and now I can live there...I just can't unpack anything into the bedroom until they tare out and replace all the sheet rock .....no problem I will store my shoes in the oven, ice cold undies sounds lovely, I've always wanted to sleep in a bathtub. I need a reprieve, or a doctor :)

Incinerate: it was 101 and at 9 pm. I drove up to Baltimore earlier today, it was 103. I started packing and took a few car loads over to my new little place, did I mention it was 101? it is now just past midnight, I am too tired to shower but am pretty sure if I fall asleep with these close on, I will die of asphyxiation. I think I will try and shower and incinerate these yoga pants in the morning.

Hello Gorgeous!: had I found this lovely in 2000 I would have killed it and pinned it for my zoology class....but it's 2012 so instead I just get to adore it

Left: during a quick walk through of the BYU art museum, I was intrigued by a few slits in a wall that seemed to gather much less attention then the showy pieces behind glass with track lighting. I peered through the slit to find a jumbled mess of cranky suspended figures....et voila I thought, no wonder this isn't getting much! and then I saw a little sign.....

"move to the LEFT"....so I did

A little effort and things make sense. Take a single piece or look to the right and things are a jumbled mess. Don't you wish you/people would take enough time to shift "left" and not judge too quickly the suspended confusion....

My boss was abroad....he had a lay over in Belgium......he brought me this......I don't like chocolate......scratch that, I didn't like chocolate. Thanks Dave.

Eachother: anyone, someone, somewhere, anywhere, somehow. These are all words, when I type them I never get ............... underneath. So why can't we all just agree to make eachother a word! ah drive me nuts those little red spell check dots beneath a word that makes so much sense to me. Voila rant over. Enjoy your Sunday.

The Switch: While out with a brief acquaintance from high school on Thursday, they were a little surprised that I was open and nice, I was often mistook for being mean or icy because I was so shy {it was my survival mode things are better now}. While talking with my sister a few days ago I was shocked when she asked why I was so short and quick with everyone. I had thought I was doing a wonderful job and had really come into my own and in all reality I am liking the personality and communication progress and that I have made over the years. Further dissection allowed us to identify that I am not short at all but merely assertive because my audience for the past little/long while has been littles. I am with Zoe {3} from 8-6 Mon-Fri and her Sisters, Roxanne and Isabelle {both 6} from 3:15-6 Mon-Fri. Those 3 darlings breeze in and out so fast I know that I have but a moment to address their queries, answer their question, resolve the conflicts, or ask something of them. I have become great at speaking toddler. I do it so much that I have to flip the figurative switch when talking with adults. My life in DC is cakes, Costco, target, uniforms, 3 little lunches, dry cleaning, pig-tails, and fairies....I don't interact all that much with big people.....I am master at checking off all that was on my list before my head hits 800 thread count over down. This has caused a certain assertive quick addition to my already quick personality. This has caused, as back in high school, a new misunderstanding I hadn't expected but am thrilled to have it in the light. I am not the only offender.....we all have our own "business mode". Teachers, Doctors, Lawyers, Financial Consultants, Accountants, Students, Business owners, Mothers.....every profession has it's own lingo, it's own way of accurate concise communication and when one is taken from their business and put somewhere else, sometimes the "business mode" follows. It is not a bad thing, it is not wrong, but I am seeing how easily my M.O. was misinterpreted as harsh and quick when in all reality I just hadn't switched off the business mode and morphed into sister/fun/shopping/lunch/laughter till chocolate milk shoots out my nose, mode. We are so complicated, we are all so different, and within each of us there are so many intricate details that if we patiently, quietly just listen to each other and try to get where the other party is coming from, ah life would be dream. But this isn't that bad....I just have to flip my switched faster when I leave work.

Guilty Pleasures: everyone has them, those things you just really love doing but would most likely deny....for example: {these may or may not be some of mine}

• secretly blasting Michael Bolton when alone in the car
• sleeping with socks on
• consuming the raspberry fritter before you leave Kohlers {don't worry I paid, the checker looked at me funny but I paid}
• periodically checking cruises to Bermuda and airfare to Europe even when you don't have any time off
• drinking milk from the gallon
• consuming an entire box of Sponge Bob gummies in a single sitting {Audrey you are totally right Betty Crocker gummies are the best!!}
• trying on thousand $ cocktail dresses even though you don't have an invitation.....yet :)
• watching NCIS all day long

they are the things you don't get to do very often but when you do, there is a different expression that comes, an almost interior smirk of, "yep this is living". How I do love living this life.

Restless: it's 4:21am and I can't sleep. I am trying to make sense of a few things and it appears that "sense" doesn't want to be made. I was called a nasty name by a friend, she apologized but I am struggling with the why {and yes I realize it is not always about me, but what if this one was}, I think my "recent" love interest isn't interested..........but I am not sure {did I say something wrong, is it because when I text too fast I put "your" when I mean "you're", did I come on too strong, is he scared? maybe scarred, it may appear that way but I really don't want to take things fast, maybe there is a new girl, maybe there is an old new girl, maybe a new job and a new city is just such a big transition he needs a minute, maybe he really is so busy a bi-monthly phone call for 2 minutes just isn't possible but things between us are fine} My mind is a stuffy mess of possible reasons for these and a few other little bumps in the road. It is 4:25am I can't sleep, I wish I was "not sleeping" here:

We had 3 weddings at my parent's house this week! It was an unexpected bit of work, but I never mind because I get to see fancy dresses, eat divine food I didn't have to cook, and if the stars are aligned....there will be cotton candy! The stars aligned last night

Creative Chaos: so my little sister go married a few weeks ago and she asked me to make her sign in book. YAY! I don't know about you but when I decide to create {which isn't as often as I would like} I need to make a giant mess in order to see the vision. So I turned this.....

into this....

Medium:I love being in Utah-for short bits of time:)- especially when my mother's garden provides a sublime medium for me to work with...

Yesterday:This morning I awoke to my mom who was not her chipper self, and my dad wasn't singing the morning, "tropical arobical" ballad we have heard every morning since birth. The orange wheelbarrow, which is rarely used, was at the back of the garden filled with something......I called my sister's dog Winston {who I had only half shaved the day before} to finish the job because today was to be a hot one....and then I looked at my dad again, his eyes were red, my mom was in the bathroom crying...Winston had been hit by car earlier this morning. For those who have never really loved an animal this will seem ridiculous and pathetic, but for those of us who have, today was a very sad day. My dad lost his mowing buddy, my mom lost her gardening buddy, and my darling sister Hannah who is moving to Germany next week lost her friend of 9 years. Death in any form is always hard.

Ode to Utah:

When not being ravaged by wildfires your mountains are lush and green,
from the top of Mount Timpanogos 5 Mormon temples can be seen.
You hold most the memories from my childhood days/daze,
and while some say you consume the most green jello I would think its all the donuts that are glazed.
Last night while driving home way too late
- and no silly Utah I was with my Mom not on a date!-
we were craving corn dogs and you didn't disappoint,
Arctic Circle had them on the menu, what a stellar joint.
The wait was 2 minutes while the dogs into the bubbling grease were thrown,
but Utah here's why I love you, while I waited I was given a curtesy cone!

Dear Blog,

I have never gone more than a day without blogging. You have been greatly neglected, but with the wedding and the out of town guests, and the nanny babies, and all the effort put into me trying to find some of those, "Suuummer Niiiights" sung about in the opening scenes of Grease, we have all been a little, well.....see for yourself....