Friday, July 12, 2013

The Routine:

So by about 7am...okay maybe 8am :) I have had my protein shake and these: 2 raw food, 1 calcium, 2 omega 3's, a probiotic, a antioxidant, {and the rest I think are coloring just to make my pee a crazy's all a trick to make you think they are really working}.

Now, after starting off my day so healthy, by about 9am I think it is time to reward myself. {please note that the workout wear I am sporting is an illusion, I put it on so people think I am a fitness buff, really I put it on because it is what was easily accessible because it was semi-clean and on my room floor}

Monday, July 8, 2013

Julia, Julia, Julia: were you expecting a post on Julia Child's? Oh no, my Julia is better than that. After a rather scorchingly hot day @ the zoo, I am sitting in my air conditioned room after a freezing shower....wondering why the   {{watch out I am going to swear}}  hell my date for tonight hasn't called? Come on man it's 7:30, any longer and it will be booty call hour! Anyway back to the story, I am there and I get a text from one of my most favorite people in the world, Julia. She is telling me a story, and it is too good not to share :) and she said I could! So thank you Julia for making my night! Enjoy

My life feels like something I would read on your blog. It's always fun when you're sitting down to eat dinner by yourself and the plumber shows up. And as he is standing at your door, he's buttoning his shirt as if he's just had an erotic encounter. THEN as he walks into the bathroom you realize that you haven't flushed the toilet because you only flush the toilet every 2nd pee to save water. Oh joy! And I made a BOMB dinner. So here I sit with wine, my fancy dinner, in my pjs and the plumber shows up to unclog my sink. I hope he doesn't expect me to take him to the bedroom because the bed isn't made, let alone, I'm married!

Thursday, July 4, 2013

I am mean...yes I know: So sometimes I am tired of telling my same old story, so I liven it up a bit.
-this conversation happened a while back, but in honor of July 4th, I thought why not :) -
  • Ben: How old were you when you got married?
  • MK: 27, well, wait, do you mean my first marriage? My first marriage I was actually 15
  • Ben: What?!
  • MK:  It was to one of the guys on the compound.
  • Ben: what.....
  • Ben: What are you talking about? Isn't that illegal?!
  • Ben: you were 15?
  • MK: No, I was 27 I am just bugging you.
  • Ben: You, are crazy.
Today in honor of Independence Day, I am thankful for my freedoms, thankful I get to choose: who I pray to, who I love, who I am, and what I will be.  And what I make, today I made these. {And yes I realize a stripe or 2 and a few starts are missing.}

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Hummingbirds: these hovering little darlings have always been a favorite of mine. Bright green with red heads and pointy beaks.  If close enough you can hear them hover on their quest for food. Our food source for them growing up was a large plastic strawberry that hung in the kitchen window. This year while pruning the pear trees, my mother stumbled on a hummingbird nest with 2 little white eggs, not much bigger than tic tacs. The nest was built eye level in the tree closest to the front door of the house. Now if you don't know, my parents live on a pear orchard, albeit small orchard, this hummingbird still had her choice of over 100 trees in which to build her nest. I quickly decided she was a bird from my own heart because she built her nest low and close to the hub of human activity suggesting she was nosey. 
Within a few days of discovering the nest, the twins had hatched a day apart
As time has gone on, the twins have filled the nest and the mother no longer has room to nestle them as they sleep. That and those little beaks would most surely lead to her death by puncture if she shifted wrong.   
They sit all day, beaks up, ready for more food
Quite possibly the most remarkable thing about the hummingbird is the nest, it is composed mostly of lichen and bits of bark held together, and adhered to the tree with spider webs. The inside of the nest is then lined with downy bits of cotton and feathers.
Clearly not much of a naturalist, Kenza is not impressed.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

DBD Arrested Development: So AD is one of my favorite shows. You only love it after watching every episode.  There is so much, so funny about it. And it came to life for me a few weeks ago. Now I don't know if this counts as a DBD because, I actually went out with this guy 2x vs. the usual 1x for a DBD, but I will give a few details anyway. Dinner, movie, no sparks, no chemistry, he was really nice, really handsome, really strong, but there was nothing. He lifted up the arm rest in the theatre which is usually fantastic, but this time not so much, he went in for a kiss and I pretended to sneeze. And I kept my arms tightly folded so there was no confusion. I know, I know, as I age I am becoming more and more awful! But here is why I had a hard time, during dinner he told me his in prison due to some bad investments (they weren't his fault), assets frozen, aside from a few fancy cars, they have nothing of their old life of mansions, private planes, exotic vacations.  They all live close to each other or with their mom, and they are all waiting for the dad to get out, so they can get on with their lives. It's been 6 years. Arrested Development indeed. No on wants to go to college, no one wants a good job, no one wants to start a career because, "when dad gets out, they will see it was all a mistake and the $ will be paid back and we are going to start x,y,z and get our old life back". Mind you these aren't 14 year olds, they are all over 30 and everyone is holding on to the hope that the past will repeat.

I have been on dates with students, a CPA, a lawyer, a doctor, a dentist, a mechanic, a fireman, a teacher, an artist, an actor, a chef, a waiter, a clerk, a teller, and the jobless.....I don't care the profession or the amount in the bank so long as you are not waiting for life to happen. Life does have moving walkways you can get on and ride along the slow flat plane, but if you take the stairs, your legs might get sore, but the view is much better....and your calves and butt will be better too:) I do feel for their situation and mind block.

So that is the back story. But the real reason why it was a DBD is on the second date, while wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid" with an arrow pointing at his own face, and after misreading every sign and attempting to maul me, he whispered, "you must feel so lucky to have met me. I think I am your answer." At which point I racked my brain to remember what I was drinking when I asked whatever question I asked to have him as my answer. He said Monica _(his last name)__ had a nice ring to it. And that was my queue, exit stage left, never look back. After 48 text messages, and unfriending me on facebook, he called last week to see if in the past 3 weeks "distance had made the heart grow fonder", I gave him a few compliments and said sadly no. He informed me it was my loss and he was better than I ever deserved. He told me to loose his number, and to enjoy, "dying alone". Arrested Development folks....the show is much better and funnier than this story. This didn't have a Banana Stand, or a fake hand due to a seal attack.