Cotton-candy: completely frivolous but if you are me, completely necessary! I love it, I buy it at hockey games, I buy it in Disneyland even though it is extremely overpriced, I buy it in grocery stores even thought I know its' moisture resistant bag is most likely filled with some less than good for me chemical to make the stuff last for 96 months on shelves. Cotton candy is not necessary for living to some, but it is for me. Along with it I need: laughing, truffle oil, waking up at 6:am, wishing in fountains, and staying up till 4:am talking and laughing a few nights in a row resulting in only 2 hours of sleep/night and having that be more than enough.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Lighter: I was in ballet a few days ago and I was doing a little across the floor sequence when the teacher stopped me...I hate it when they do this!......"you will be lighter if you look up, that last time you looked at the floor and hardly came of it, try again. Now ladies watch the difference..." With my theoretical tail between my legs I headed to the corner of the room to repeat my previously flawed action, correcting it with simple ocular elevation. Doubtful much would change I followed instruction and the results were surprisingly as predicted; I gained 8 inches of vertical lift by simply shifting my focus. The last few months my focus has been on the floor, I have been heavy. Making difficult decisions, thinking hard thoughts, moving my life into a storage shed, and looking at his sleeping face the morning I left him and thinking, "I want to wake you up and tell you what is coming, but I can't." And then leaving, feeling like a monster because nothing was even said, no verbal, "FYI tomorrow I will be gone". I was told I was a runner, a quitter, a coward, a shell of a human. I focused on the "floor" and felt this way, heavy with no lift. There were lawyers, calls, texts, wanting to be my best but somehow coming up sub-par for the course more than I wished. It wasn't all him, it wasn't all me, it wasn't 1 thing. I was a body of severed limbs sinking in a hungry shark tank, and then I started to shift my focus. The ground will always be the ground, there will always be a low, it is a universal law. However, knowing the ground is there and focusing on its' existence are 2 different things. You must understand your opponent to appreciate the fight. "Lift-off" cannot happen when your gaze is down.