Photoverload:what I get to do cause this is my blog

My ward had stake conference on Sunday so I ventured to a neighboring singles ward bright and early at 8:30a...when I got there I found a post it note on the door stating, "Stake Conference", I was all dressed up with no where to go, so I made this face {see above} and let my then fancy hair down {literally}, and headed for the hills, Shenandoah was calling.

As I drove I couldn't help but roll the windows down even though it was chilly, and stop at places like this. I love that smell, the hay, the air, the leaves on the trees and just enough of a whiff of horses or cows that you know they are there but don't think, "gag it stinks!". DC is wonderful but having grown up out West, empty land as far as the eye can see lulls me.

hair down+window down=obscured vision=death by car=hair back up but this time all top knot trendy like the bloggers that attended that Alt Blog Summit thing...

finally arrived 2.5hrs later and it was so worth it...see...

button or no botton...wait did the camera just click? 10 sec isn't long enough!

let's try standing? yes standing is good wait did it click? I don't know let's try it 2 more times. Who I am kidding I did it like 28 times! I am sure anyone who saw me would have thought, "seriously you fool, setting your camera up on that 'tripod' then running like it's your job only to turn around and try to look natural before the shutter opens over and over and over again, what you think your smile will change? your ass will get smaller? you're hair will magically not look like you just got released from the drunk tank? Ya you're a fool"

voila my 'tripod' {see it between the ski racks}. But I did other things too... I

journaled, and then went back to camera and took "self portrait in a jetta" pictures

then watched the sun set on what turned out to be quite a perfect day.

Genetics: wouldn't you know it...I don't care what science does or doesn't say, I believe that because my Grandma Lil can paint, there is some rather large vein of artistic whimsy in me. Thank you Michael's for having canvas' on sale so I could literally make a disastrous mess without feeling too guilty for the startup cost. The sun was out, the day was warm, so naturally having never taken an art class my first thought was, "what a great day to paint" note to self: just because you share genes with Lil doesn't mean you can do what she does without practice. I rather enjoyed painting today in the sun while under complete coherent dilution that at the end there would be a masterpiece. Picasso I am not, Seraut I am not, but I did so love the idea of painting in the sun. {at least my mind is there, that's half the battle right?}

P.S maybe the universe

was trying to tell me what it thought my painting was....because when I was almost done, I got pooped on!

Nostalgia: today is so lovely, I wish I had a dog to walk :( today I miss my dogs. Maverick has had a new home since last June and Kenza is acting as a short term nanny for my nieces Bella and Lilly in California. She is doing a lovely job and I can hardly wait till April when she and I will be reunited again in Utah...but not forever just for the week.

Attraction: ah spring is in the air, we are awaking from our winter slumber, we are venturing out from basements and inside dwellings into the fresh air. The days are getting longer so there is more light making it easier to gaze into a lovers eye.....etc etc etc making for a great photo! I stopped at an overlook in Virginia and within seconds of arriving, 3 couples who didn't know each other drove up, looked at the view, and then smooched all at the same time. It was fantastic, I adore spring and I love love.

{FYI this is NOT a perky quirky funny post, give me a day or 2 to reset if you want that. Again this is not that kind of post. It is overly personal and a bit bitting but I have never been one who only shows the pretty, safe sides of life, my life and I are much too real for that}

Somewhat Pathetic: so I have mentioned my storage shed before. It is the 10x10 space where my life currently resides. I don't sleep there but all the things that visually define me do. Okay remember that....moving on....Yesterday was odd, a day that I don't have nor like to have often. It was a day when I felt so many emotions. Let's just list them off:

• happy: it started out great with breakfast at Eastern Market with Ruth and her darling nephew, Andrew David. We had a wonderful little morning. Then this happened: (?)
• lonely: so far from home, so alienated from so many of my friends due to being single again and living in DC vs. MD
• confused: I have no idea what is next. Back to school?back to restaurants?open the bakery?stay here?just screw it all and move to France and work with a chef there?
• hate: (and here is where it get's overly personal) yesterday I hated my ex-husband and I have never done that, I hated him for marrying me, I hated him for not trying in the end -even though the outcome would have been the same-, I hated him for moving on before it was over, I hated him for posting a photo with his new fiance and her kids on facebook , I hated the people (yes that's plural) who texted me to look on facebook because they felt I should know he had just changed his photo, and then I hated me for a minute for dwelling in the past and hating someone I once loved so dearly. I got over myself. ( and I don't really hate him)
• unsettled: I have no place to call home, no place that is all mine, where I can recharge and have peace. My space here in DC is perfectly located and I love it, but it lacks peace, lacks space, hence the above mentioned shed :)

With all these feelings I tried to get out, tried to get away, but I was exhausted from the week so I got in my car and drove to a scenic overlook maybe 5 min away to clear my head. (spoiler alert it's not that scenic, GW parkway lies a lot) I found some nail polish in my back seat so I painted my nails, then watched hulu on my cell phone while my nails dried-yes I am still in my car at this point in the story maybe slightly high from polish fumes- they dried, then I started driving again and found myself in a place that used to cause pain but now was somewhat of a solace. The storage shed. I had to switch out some clothes and grab a painting. The shed is my little secret no one has seen it, no one knows about it, no one can get to it. So there you have it...somewhat pathetic like I said. In a single day, I hated my ex husband for silly reasons, I painted my nails in the car, I found a little hope while maneuvering through a storage shed and thinking on some day. Oh and don't worry there were tears too but, in my defense, I haven't cried for months so I was due! I have never professed to being simple or making much sense but yesterday I was somewhat pathetic. So don't worry if you find yourself in this type of place, it is okay from time to time. We are human, we need to feel and push through the hard days that have no explanations.

Ninja: so I may not have taken karate, I have never been in a proper dojo, nor have I been to Japan, China, either of the Koreas, or Thailand however, last night after a late movie, I felt like a ninja. I had stepped out of the house and gone straight from gym to theater so luckily I was armed in black yoga pants, black hoodie, unluckily no house key! This isn't my first rodeo, I used to break into my sister Jen's house all the time to secretly watch TV. She thinks I borrowed her clothes....lies....I just wanted the cozy couch, the TV and the endless supply of shrimp in her fridge. Back to the sneaking...no keys, too late to call a friend who has a spare so I parked in the back alley, stood on the racks on my car to hop over a fence, squeeze under another, and then cross the private courtyard where only meters away a party was going on inside but I was stealthy and ran across the courtyard threw my self at the last hurdle and luckily had just enough vertical lift to grab the fence use the adrenalin I had pumping through my veins to heft my lurpy post gym- post movie popcorn body over the fence and flop into my backyard. I climbed through a basement window and I was in. I grabbed my keys, moved my car and then went in to bake a cake....feeling a little like a ninja.

Bright Side:

mmm yes this was a smart choice, what a great beginning, look how chunky...

mmm still going strong, there is so much left, feeling so good about this peanut buttery goodness....

:( it's all gone, wow did I really eat a whole 16 oz. Ben and Jerry's "Everything But The.." in a single sitting? That was silly, hmm I wonder how much a really ate...

HOLY CRAP!!

1200 calories

68g Total Fat

155g Total Carbs

20g Protein

oh nice work me! 20g of protein, protein is good for me, now that is thinking like a power lifter.

just got off the phone, we had a wonderful conversation, we talked of love, of loss, of religion, of life, we talked of fears, and futures, successes and pasts. There is such a mortal need for definitions, figurative quadrants scream to be filled in our lives, we create spaces just so we can feel the accomplishment of filling something up when really, we were just fine before. We are enough as long as our insides match our outsides.

D.I.Y.: so many have jumped on this great concept! Thinking on it the other day after perusing a d.i.y blog or 2 I thought to myself, {insert super sarcastic tone so as not to sound like a monster} "MK you are super smart, super fun, super gifted, you've got this in the bag, you can do a DIY just as good as the next mormon or mom or mormon mom" and what do you know...I am a D.I.Y. goddess. Here is my first tutorial: Razor Holder.

for this project you will need:

1. a hair elastic (used is fine just pull the hairs off it)
2. your razor (and there is no shame in putting an orange plastic bic that is well loved in this amazing holder, it works for all razor types. Don't let my gillette intimidate you)

Step 1: loop the elastic around itself

Step 2: place razor in the holder

Step 3: um there are really only 2 steps so I guess pat yourself on the back for a job well done!

You are welcome. (and please tell me you caught the sarcasm in this post! if not, maybe you should find another blog to stalk :) xoxo and in all actuality, this really is how I store my razor!

Weekends: lately my camera has been a little neglected, and I only take it out on the weekends.....and when I do take it out......this happens....I :

hang art

watch UFC fights at Buffalo Wild Wings or paint landscapes

become cultured by taking in "exotic" destinations (within a 6 hr drive give or take)

nap

clean, or think about it and then bake instead :) and then realize I need to clean the fridge

make this face