The Routine:


So by about 7am...okay maybe 8am :) I have had my protein shake and these: 2 raw food, 1 calcium, 2 omega 3's, a probiotic, a antioxidant, {and the rest I think are coloring just to make my pee a crazy yellow....it's all a trick to make you think they are really working}.

Now, after starting off my day so healthy, by about 9am I think it is time to reward myself. {please note that the workout wear I am sporting is an illusion, I put it on so people think I am a fitness buff, really I put it on because it is what was easily accessible because it was semi-clean and on my room floor}

Julia, Julia, Julia: were you expecting a post on Julia Child's? Oh no, my Julia is better than that. After a rather scorchingly hot day @ the zoo, I am sitting in my air conditioned room after a freezing shower....wondering why the   {{watch out I am going to swear}}  hell my date for tonight hasn't called? Come on man it's 7:30, any longer and it will be booty call hour! Anyway back to the story, I am there and I get a text from one of my most favorite people in the world, Julia. She is telling me a story, and it is too good not to share :) and she said I could! So thank you Julia for making my night! Enjoy

My life feels like something I would read on your blog. It's always fun when you're sitting down to eat dinner by yourself and the plumber shows up. And as he is standing at your door, he's buttoning his shirt as if he's just had an erotic encounter. THEN as he walks into the bathroom you realize that you haven't flushed the toilet because you only flush the toilet every 2nd pee to save water. Oh joy! And I made a BOMB dinner. So here I sit with wine, my fancy dinner, in my pjs and the plumber shows up to unclog my sink. I hope he doesn't expect me to take him to the bedroom because the bed isn't made, let alone, I'm married!

I am mean...yes I know: So sometimes I am tired of telling my same old story, so I liven it up a bit.

-this conversation happened a while back, but in honor of July 4th, I thought why not :) -

• Ben: How old were you when you got married?
• MK: 27, well, wait, do you mean my first marriage? My first marriage I was actually 15
• Ben: What?!
• MK:  It was to one of the guys on the compound.
• Ben: what.....
• Ben: What are you talking about? Isn't that illegal?!
• Ben: you were 15?
• MK: No, I was 27 I am just bugging you.
• Ben: You, are crazy.

Today in honor of Independence Day, I am thankful for my freedoms, thankful I get to choose: who I pray to, who I love, who I am, and what I will be.  And what I make, today I made these. {And yes I realize a stripe or 2 and a few starts are missing.}

Hummingbirds: these hovering little darlings have always been a favorite of mine. Bright green with red heads and pointy beaks.  If close enough you can hear them hover on their quest for food. Our food source for them growing up was a large plastic strawberry that hung in the kitchen window. This year while pruning the pear trees, my mother stumbled on a hummingbird nest with 2 little white eggs, not much bigger than tic tacs. The nest was built eye level in the tree closest to the front door of the house. Now if you don't know, my parents live on a pear orchard, albeit small orchard, this hummingbird still had her choice of over 100 trees in which to build her nest. I quickly decided she was a bird from my own heart because she built her nest low and close to the hub of human activity suggesting she was nosey. 

Within a few days of discovering the nest, the twins had hatched a day apart

As time has gone on, the twins have filled the nest and the mother no longer has room to nestle them as they sleep. That and those little beaks would most surely lead to her death by puncture if she shifted wrong.   

They sit all day, beaks up, ready for more food

Quite possibly the most remarkable thing about the hummingbird is the nest, it is composed mostly of lichen and bits of bark held together, and adhered to the tree with spider webs. The inside of the nest is then lined with downy bits of cotton and feathers.

Clearly not much of a naturalist, Kenza is not impressed.

DBD Arrested Development: So AD is one of my favorite shows. You only love it after watching every episode.  There is so much, so funny about it. And it came to life for me a few weeks ago. Now I don't know if this counts as a DBD because, I actually went out with this guy 2x vs. the usual 1x for a DBD, but I will give a few details anyway. Dinner, movie, no sparks, no chemistry, he was really nice, really handsome, really strong, but there was nothing. He lifted up the arm rest in the theatre which is usually fantastic, but this time not so much, he went in for a kiss and I pretended to sneeze. And I kept my arms tightly folded so there was no confusion. I know, I know, as I age I am becoming more and more awful! But here is why I had a hard time, during dinner he told me his story....dad in prison due to some bad investments (they weren't his fault), assets frozen, aside from a few fancy cars, they have nothing of their old life of mansions, private planes, exotic vacations.  They all live close to each other or with their mom, and they are all waiting for the dad to get out, so they can get on with their lives. It's been 6 years. Arrested Development indeed. No on wants to go to college, no one wants a good job, no one wants to start a career because, "when dad gets out, they will see it was all a mistake and the $ will be paid back and we are going to start x,y,z and get our old life back". Mind you these aren't 14 year olds, they are all over 30 and everyone is holding on to the hope that the past will repeat.

I have been on dates with students, a CPA, a lawyer, a doctor, a dentist, a mechanic, a fireman, a teacher, an artist, an actor, a chef, a waiter, a clerk, a teller, and the jobless.....I don't care the profession or the amount in the bank so long as you are not waiting for life to happen. Life does have moving walkways you can get on and ride along the slow flat plane, but if you take the stairs, your legs might get sore, but the view is much better....and your calves and butt will be better too:) I do feel for their situation and mind block.

So that is the back story. But the real reason why it was a DBD is on the second date, while wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid" with an arrow pointing at his own face, and after misreading every sign and attempting to maul me, he whispered, "you must feel so lucky to have met me. I think I am your answer." At which point I racked my brain to remember what I was drinking when I asked whatever question I asked to have him as my answer. He said Monica _(his last name)__ had a nice ring to it. And that was my queue, exit stage left, never look back. After 48 text messages, and unfriending me on facebook, he called last week to see if in the past 3 weeks "distance had made the heart grow fonder", I gave him a few compliments and said sadly no. He informed me it was my loss and he was better than I ever deserved. He told me to loose his number, and to enjoy, "dying alone". Arrested Development folks....the show is much better and funnier than this story. This didn't have a Banana Stand, or a fake hand due to a seal attack.

Talking with a friend last night, they were shocked I  remembered the things I do. Birthdays, phone numbers, outfits, weather, dates of things both significant and not. I think I remember because it gives me control of my life....too bad I can't turn it off :) Anyway, July 4th is coming up. America's independence day, the day we celebrate for essentially saying, "we aren't going to take this any more, there is more for us, and trial and sadness and pain will all be worth this fight in the end"....and it was.  Today, June 28th, is my own little independence day. 2 years ago I made a choice that changed my life forever, and looking back, today I am enjoying the freedoms that were bought with a price.

Free Advice: so I have lots I could talk about, tons I could talk about, but nothing as fun as this.....my online dating saga. I started it because I had just moved to a new area, was so busy @ work, and I don't frequent bars, so I wasn't meeting anybody. I think I continue to do it because I need a good laugh from time to time :) Today after a productive day of work, I sat down and "rewarded" myself with perusing the online dating site. I always anticipate this is going to be wonderful, but I am almost always, romantically let down. But I keep going back because it is harmless, I have a cruel streak, and while it may be a romantic let down, it ALWAS provides a few bits that are hilarious! (Dear online dating gods, I will apologize for everything I have, and will write, the minute you produce the perfect mate) So being the selfless giver I am, I thought I would share bits of my cruel humor, and also give advice to potential online daters. Please don't think I am monster. *all of these pics were taken off the site tonight...they were all also "suggested matches", computers suck.*

Cowboy hats are fine, sometimes even sexy, but what is not sexy is having 1/2 of your ex-girlfriend's body, or in picture #2 just the leg, in the picture. 

Shameless selfies in the bathroom, this is one way you can make sure you are smiling just right......just clean the mirror first.....and try to get it in focus. You can't really see because #2's face is blocked but the photo is so very fuzzy, but on a good note, he is clearly flexing his left arm......really guys? take 2 seconds and crop the bathroom out all together. Toilets are gross, and towel racks without towels just make me think you are too lazy to do laundry and are using your pants still to dry your hands. 

Awesome, I can tell you have 2 hands, and like the snow, but I still have no idea what you look like. 

  

#1, you've got to be kidding me! I can only see 1/3 of your body. Yes I am thrilled you've been to Puerto Rico, or wherever this is, but I am not looking at a travel site right now, I am looking at a man menu and this photo depicts you as a sad side salad, not a main course. However, #2 where's the beef? Clearly right here. These photos don't help either. I get the full pic, but the dingy tanktop does you no favors. You are clearly okay showing "skin", but by not being completely shirtless you are only allowing me to think you have something to cover up. 

Now just a few usernames that I enjoyed tonight:

hotlatinlover7: is 7 the number of diseases I could catch from you 

imurman : no you're not because you can't spell

loveguru: clearly you aren't because you are single

cuffme: ahhh don't even want to know

USHMIECHAJSIE: thanks for the ALL CAPS and thanks for a username impossible to remember so I can never look you up again.

DBD #7 Taco Feast: we were planning on going to a basket ball game. {nice I like sports} I was just going to meet him at his place and then we would drive over together. I showed up right on time, and he let me in....he had long curly hair, and a beard. From the pic he had sent he looked like a greek god, he should only ever take pictures with that camera, because what greeted me was the the same guy, but really not. Anyway, he invited me in and said he had to run upstairs and would be down in a minute. I sat in the kitchen and his house was really nice, clean, organized, only red flag was the lace table cloth with a plastic topper and piles of neatly clipped coupons. Next thing I know the back door opens and in walks a woman! "Holy crap he's married", was the first thought, then as she came into the light I realized she was much older.....hurray he lives with his mom. Come to find out in the 20! min he left me alone with his mother, he has always lived with her, can't seem to get a girl friend, but was really cute as a baby. Yep she showed me the pics. When he finally finished primping, I was a bit shocked, he had on purply knee socks, basketball shoes, a sweat band on his head, and a really terrible jersey. We were not going to A game, we were going to HIS game. Odd. I sat with all the wives as their middle aged husbands huffed and puffed down the court. The girls gave me tid bits about this guy I was being forced to watch.  Everything from the good the bad and the really really really ugly, was relayed to me, without prompting.  Game ended, he came over and gave me a super sweaty hug, and then said, "let's go grab dinner".  I was feeling a bit over dressed, mostly because I was sweaty or wearing purple knee high socks. Just as we are headed out, he turns and yells, "hey my girl Monica and I are going to grab Taco Bell, who wants to join us?" My girl? when did I become his girl? 3 men joined us. I went to dinner with 4 sweaty men who all through the "meal" talked about high school, and the previous 6 games which they had all lost, and most the conversation was in spanish. One more sweaty hug and I was on my way home.....but wait.....then came the text.....he had showered, wanted to know if I wanted to come back for a little, and I quote, "night cap" which was accompanied by him in his undies. They were red, he was hairy, so gross. I said no thank you. There was no second date.

Nieman Marcus: so Niemans is dog friendly....and as you can guess, Kenza is a lover of couture and she has excellent taste....so it only made sense for her to shop with Fashion Tetris aka my little sister Hannah. 

But we really need to work on her endurance

(and no I am not turning into a crazy dog lady, I jut thought Hannah and Kenza were darling)

Motivation: funny what things motivate you to do other things....like the fact that my lovely work benefits ending on May 31st motivated me to: get a physical, have blood work done, get my teeth cleaned, get my crown replaced, get that mole on my arm removed, see the optometrist, and the lady doctor all in a matter of weeks :)...and in case you were wondering, everything was A okay.

"Hi, my name is Kate, I am newish to limbo, I have been here before, but its been a while, I am not sure I am happy to be here, but I am here none the less. So I guess, um, my name is Monica Kate and I am a limboaholic":I make decisions very quickly. When I am done, I am done. Pretty sure I have mentioned this before but if not, here goes my broken record. When I decided to serve a mission, I had my papers in 3 days later, and a call 14 days after that. When I decided I was done with Utah for a moment, I found a job in DC and I was in the car a week later. When I knew the marriage was never going to work, I had the Uhaul loaded a few hours later. When there was heartbreaking fallout @ my DC job, I waited to see if it could be fixed and when I they didn't even try to repair after a few months, I was out. Back to Utah again.... It was my dream to work @ Sundance since I was young. I adored the mountains, the overall feel, I knew it would be the perfect fit. Sundance was enough of a pull for me to leave DC and not really have time to look back with longing. It WAS enough of a pull, then it too started to crumble and what I thought would be a wise shift, became nothing more than a pile of crumbs on the floor passed over even by the mice. I thought I would remain there for at least 2 years, it held me for only 6 months. Now I am here....secretly hoping the next step isn't right in front of me and I just can't see it :)

Loosen up my buttons?: Yay, a last minute date called. We had texted back and forth a bit, a few phone calls, and he had a change in his schedule so off to a first date dinner we went. Wings! I tried to eat like a lady, but wings render me neanderthalic {yes that is a adjective} The wings are the point. The point is that we had been eating for a while when the waiter looked at me, then his eyes got huge! He kept tugging at his shirt whenever I looked at him...oh crap! I looked down, yep button were undone. Nice work MK. I asked my date how long it had been like that, he said he didn't know, a while maybe. Instead of just leaving it at that, I began to explain how I was doing my laundry and when he called it wasn't try yet, so I ran into my sisters closet and to my luckily someone had left a bra in the drawer, close enough to my size, only kicker it was a serious push up. This made it so my shirt was apparently a bit tight but I didn't notice. Really Monica, on a first date just laugh, flirt a little, do not under any circumstance mention you are wearing a push up bra!

Customer Service: The conversation with CapitolOne Bank this morning went like this:

"For verification with our new system Ms. Moore, I am going to ask you a series of questions."

and the questions were:

"Which of the follow cars have you owned from the following list" 

I answered, then

"At which address have you lived in the past 5 years from the following list"

I answered, then

"Which age bracket does Karen J. fit into from the following list"

"Um that is my ex husband's ex wife! I have no clue maybe 34? Where are you getting these questions?"

"Sorry ma'am I am not sure where the questions are generated let's try another. In what city does Alyssa R. reside from the following list?"

-laughing a bit- "Are you serious? That is my ex husbands other ex wife who I know nothing about other than her name! Seriously I would love to know where they are getting these questions, because I have no clue."

"Well that is odd ma'am,  but unfortunately if you can't answer I can't help you. Can you call him to get the answers so we can fully verify you?"

"Are you kidding me? No way. Let me speak to a supervisor please."

Can you imagine that conversation......"hey Nate, haven't talked to you in a while. Watched the Stanley Cup this year? How is the family? Oh and how old is Karen, and where does Alyssa live" ya I don't think so. So I got the supervisor and wouldn't you know it the supervisor laughed with me then gave me the info I needed. Happy Hump Day

I really tried not to like them. I really try to like the unknown band, the garage talent, but really? How can I not?

Reflect: what is that? you don't think I post enough pictures of myself? Oh well I agree :) Here are a few more of the remaining pics from Singapore. You've seen the food, my feet, my hands, now here is my reflection.

Walking through an underpass...a really lovely mirrored with botanicals underpass

Don't let the spherical mirror fool you, I am not that wide, nor are my legs that skinny :) oh trompe l'oeil, so great. The SIGLAP park connector is a very very long trail that connects many of the stunning parks on Singapores west side. I made it about 16 ft before realizing skinny jeans=sweat makers in SG. but I kept walking of course, because I had to see what lay around the next bend. 6 miles later, I really really understood why Germans wear those really short shorts.

 

buried treasure from a shipwreck, casino elevator. Yep I went into casinos, why? because they have the cleanest bathrooms, amazing art, free drinks, and this one had hot passed appetizers! Take that Vegas.

Little morning run (not in jeans!) let me to a fish market, where you literally pick your fish right out of the tank, and this is no Red Lobster lobster tank, these fish are enormous. 

 

Waiting for the MRT (metro) to take me to church, and the botanical gardens after church

 

The art museum had a "Make your own Shadow" wall, and I clearly couldn't resist.

I look happy, well I am, but really I am not. this is me in the bathroom of the Tokyo airport wondering how I can manage to stay forever (not in the bathroom, in Asia silly)

Food:shall we talk about the food? Let's. Singapore is an incredible melting pot of culture. Thai, Japanese, Chinese, Malay, and they all fit in one compact little country, and they all have a presence. Singapore's fine dinning circuit is simply ridiculous! Amazing chef's. However, the hakkas -little food stands crammed together- are equally amazing. I didn't know what I was ordering half the time so I just pointed or told the cook to choose for me. Sometimes this was a ver VERY wise choice and my mind was blown, other times this was a bad bad choice and my mind was literally blown because the food was so hot! I ate fish head soup - yes the fish head had giant sharp teeth-, noodles till I almost popped, curries, sushis, japanese pancakes, thanks Andres for that little gem, fine food, street food, hot food, cold food. It is greatly missed. 

World renowned steamed pork dumplings. The server was a bit shocked I ate them all by myself...and they were just the appetizer ;)

 Steamed Vanilla Cake. A very gelatinous take on cake....it was divine. Not sure I can replicate it, but I will certainly be trying. 

 Lychee sorbet with a deep fried crab stuffed lychee. @ Savour. AMAZING!

 Seared scallop with dill vichyssoise, squid ink, barley crumble @ Savour I think i licked the plate

 Prosciutto with tomato and mozzarella meringue via liquid nitrogen...meh good idea but not amazing

 pink peppercorn macaron sandwich, street food...herbed bun with sausage. 

 my mystery bag, a point and order moment that resulted in pure lust for prata...and they serve their to-go sauces in baggies, so great. 

Look at their faces :) They are in awe because we were @ Luke's having: lobster mac and cheese, the most amazing burger I have ever put in my mouth, steak tartar to perfection, and a few small bites sent out by the chef
 {they were only sent out because we were tagalongs with the simply wonderful Andres Lara}

 The bacon that literally made my taste buds weep it was so good.
{let it be known had Luke not been married I would have kissed him on the mouth for that makin that bacon!}

 more street food, noodles with a soy cake and shrimp

While in Singapore I

 slept here {don't be jealous, and yes the sheets are Snoopy, and no I didn't ever climb to the top bunk}:

got off the train here:

to walk to my adventure here: (UFO type structure on the left)

which consisted of "working" {it was more playing} with them: