Free Advice: so I have lots I could talk about, tons I could talk about, but nothing as fun as this.....my online dating saga. I started it because I had just moved to a new area, was so busy @ work, and I don't frequent bars, so I wasn't meeting anybody. I think I continue to do it because I need a good laugh from time to time :) Today after a productive day of work, I sat down and "rewarded" myself with perusing the online dating site. I always anticipate this is going to be wonderful, but I am almost always, romantically let down. But I keep going back because it is harmless, I have a cruel streak, and while it may be a romantic let down, it ALWAS provides a few bits that are hilarious! (Dear online dating gods, I will apologize for everything I have, and will write, the minute you produce the perfect mate) So being the selfless giver I am, I thought I would share bits of my cruel humor, and also give advice to potential online daters. Please don't think I am monster. *all of these pics were taken off the site tonight...they were all also "suggested matches", computers suck.*

Cowboy hats are fine, sometimes even sexy, but what is not sexy is having 1/2 of your ex-girlfriend's body, or in picture #2 just the leg, in the picture. 

Shameless selfies in the bathroom, this is one way you can make sure you are smiling just right......just clean the mirror first.....and try to get it in focus. You can't really see because #2's face is blocked but the photo is so very fuzzy, but on a good note, he is clearly flexing his left arm......really guys? take 2 seconds and crop the bathroom out all together. Toilets are gross, and towel racks without towels just make me think you are too lazy to do laundry and are using your pants still to dry your hands. 

Awesome, I can tell you have 2 hands, and like the snow, but I still have no idea what you look like. 

  

#1, you've got to be kidding me! I can only see 1/3 of your body. Yes I am thrilled you've been to Puerto Rico, or wherever this is, but I am not looking at a travel site right now, I am looking at a man menu and this photo depicts you as a sad side salad, not a main course. However, #2 where's the beef? Clearly right here. These photos don't help either. I get the full pic, but the dingy tanktop does you no favors. You are clearly okay showing "skin", but by not being completely shirtless you are only allowing me to think you have something to cover up. 

Now just a few usernames that I enjoyed tonight:

hotlatinlover7: is 7 the number of diseases I could catch from you 

imurman : no you're not because you can't spell

loveguru: clearly you aren't because you are single

cuffme: ahhh don't even want to know

USHMIECHAJSIE: thanks for the ALL CAPS and thanks for a username impossible to remember so I can never look you up again.