Friday, July 25, 2014
Control: it is one of my long time, on and off again, loves. Oh how I adore the crisp sharp feeling that comes from a life in which I have, total control. Oh how I bask in the personal gratification that fills me when I know I have complete control of a situation…..but what of life when it is spiraling like a kite without a string? What of me when the situation is jagged and seemingly awry at every turn like a hungry toddler at nap time? What then? ….well, then I realize I have been lying to myself and I never, nor do any of us, have control over life or situations. There is really truly only thing I have control over, my weather. I cannot control who says what, who does what, when the post will come, or how long the queue at the bank will be, I cannot control traffic, or train times, or the language comprehension of the guy on the other end of the customer service call, but I can control my reaction. I can appear on site like a tsunami, taking no prisoners, showing no mercy, dominating the scene with great force. This will ensure my presence is known, but rarely if ever does this type of behavior rectify an issue. When a situation is less than prime, I can retreat and allow giant pools of lava to boil beneath my surface as I find refuge in bag of orange cheese flavored crispiness (cheetos, lays, ruffles, there are so many delightful choice), this will again, solve nothing. Storms come from time to time, that is true. Rain is necessary for growth; some tears are important. For the most part however, life is best on clear calm days. Sunny days, with a light breeze and mild temperatures. Life happens regardless, it takes no breaks, there are no time outs. Crisis' and joys will be unwavering and constant, and the only solace is sometimes found when I am at peace knowing full well I can control only one thing, my "weather".