Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Second: a measurement of time, a place who's platform is a foot shorter than 1st on the olympic podium, something that should be offered, more often than not, when it comes to a chance. Last weekend I stopped by a bakery that months earlier had greatly disappointed. This was an extremely rare thing for me as I take bakeries very seriously. A scone, a blondie, an herbed loaf, and I was pleasantly surprised. I had a delightful moment sitting at a table by the front window enjoying a simple morning. Perhaps it was the company I was keeping, perhaps it was the rain which tends to makes me nostalgic and romantic, but I marveled for just a moment on what a lovely thing a second chance really is. A second chance on an author, a restaurant, a film director, the boy who mows the lawn, ....these are simple and they require little effort from within. Giving a second chance however, to say something like love, is a little different. Someone close ruins you from the inside out and the damage is done {this can be family, a spouse, a dear friend}. Pieces go missing {or so we think}, scars begin to form, trust is lost, and hope soon follows. Then comes a day when enough time has past and we need to begin to forgive. We forgive them first because in most cases that is easier. We now see they were young, insecure, poorly matched, unaware {etc.}. Now don't discount the difficulty! This step while easier than the next is not easy, but is well worth the work. Once we forgive them, a new space is created, old scars are now barely visible to the mind's eye. Forgiving oneself is next and this, this is the Everest for so many of us. The myriads of questions that seem to be on a constant loop in our heads, "what did I do? what did I not do? did I try hard enough? did I choose to not see the disaster from the beginning because I wanted a challenge? was I tired so I settled? was I too pushy? did I not push enough? was I myself? did they know the real me? _(insert your own thoughts here)__? these are the questions that can never fully be answered. Love happened at some point, then it died, if you spend forever questioning why, you will lose the beautiful things that did come from it. {and yes all loves regardless of their ends contain certain quantities of beauty that I feel should be held in special places} So you must stop questioning everything and ask 1 simple question: "What habits, traits, and characteristics will I allow from the past to be carried on into my future?" that will ensure the good remains and the bad is left behind. Now just let yourself be free of yourself. Tell yourself you are sorry and then tell yourself it is alright, get up, stand tall, and give love a second chance without trying to remember exactly what your scars used to look like. Rinse and repeat as many times as love is lost.

1 comment:

  1. OK, so I don't think I've commented on your blog yet (have I?)...just been blog stalking and enjoying your posts ;0), but I had to let you know how much I loved this post. What a powerful principle!!! Thank you for sharing, Monica!

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