***oh whammy here it comes, this is your warning, this is not rainbows and butterflies, this is a divorce post, I won't feel bad if you don't read it***

Cope: I was derailed for a minute today, I'd rather not admit it but I will. My darling little ex husband Nathan sent a stream of unwarranted, appallingly nasty texts that completely caught me off guard. {I will spare you the detail, albeit juicy}. Bless his h....his chest cavity where a heart should be. For a moment I was reminded of my life with him, for a moment I had some really lovely thoughts which were quickly dispelled as his texts exponentially worsened. And it was then I realized how dead I used to be to all of it. Funny how abuse is, to deal with it you just tune it out and you put it in the "Normal Marriage Behavior" folder in order to mask the issues because no little girl ever dreams of a marriage like that. No I never had physical bruises and my case is so far from the tragedies that both men and women face in unhealthy marriages, but I was deadened to some very bad behavior so that I could cope. I am elated that it shook me today because that means I have successfully moved on and the part of me that used to be, is no longer dead. I am back to my emotional "fighting weight" and feisty as hell. I was on the bottom for a brief moment today, a moment which ended when I was reminded {thanks GBM} that I am the one who controls where my power goes and lending power to a pain from the past is never a wise decision. Regardless of the situation, regardless of how much time has past, no one should ever have to cope with abuse and no one should tolerate it in any amount. That being said...

Dear Sender of nasty texts,

Enjoy your restraining order.

MK