Sunday, April 6, 2014

DBD #11 German Feast: oh did you think I would take a trip to Europe to see my sister and not go on a Tinder date? Bless your heart. Our train halted in Bremen, and my sister and I thought we'd see what Tinder Deutsch Edition held. She hasn't been on a first date in 3 yrs....but she is married.....so she was all over it. Soren popped up, tall, smart looking, clean cut with a suit in one pic, a bit rugged with a surf board in hand in another, right wipe for him. We got to texting and Wednesday night he asked me for drinks. I was rather excited. What materialized Wednesday night, at my sister's door step was nothing short of an unkempt yeti. Having not set up a time to meet, I was shocked when just as we had arrived home from a long bike ride, there was a knock at the door. Faded salmon pants, long greyish hair, Gandalf beard, unannounced yeti. I scrambled to put my hair up and throw on a few more layers of deodorant and we were off. We headed to a bar, conversation was odd, he talked of loving pot, wishing Woodstock would have happened a bit later, and how terrible americans are. Winning. My vision of the sophisticated psychology professor I had texted was now much different. We headed off to a vegan diner, he's vegan, ya he kind of smelled like patchouli too, and for the record, vegan cheeseburgers don't taste like meat. Back into the car, and driving opposite the direction of my sister's house for a while, but I could take this guy so I'm not worried. "I was going to just take you for drinks, but you aren't awful so we are going somewhere special". That's a load off, I'm not awful! We pull up to the side of a river, (I was secretly hoping he was talking me to his house, which was a van down by the river, that would have made for a real good story), and he looks for something for quite some time, I offer to help he mutters something in German. Turns out he is looking for keys, and sadly not ones for his van, he has a garden on the outskirts of town with a little garden house on it and we were going for dessert. Quite charming, but no keys, so back to the bar to look for them, then to the vegan place, then to my sister's place, then back to the garden to see if they fell out of the car. No luck.  We chat for a bit, wander the garden in the dark, and conversation is actually quite nice. I am chilly, it is late, he takes me home. As he was drivin he says, "too bad I didn't find the keys, I was going [ to have so much yoga with you] it would have change your life". I inform him that wouldn't have happened even if we had found the keys, he informs me he is so sexy it would have and we can try in the car right then if I want. Right, winning. I decline having my life altered, he mutters, "your loss". He takes me home. At the door step and nice hug, I pull away to go inside, he pulls me back, touches my bottom lip with his thumb and I am thinking, "oh please don't try and kiss me, that beard is harboring things", and to my comfort, he doesn't, he just pulls my lip down, comes in close, then blows onto the inside of my lip! Not even sure how to react I just thanked him and walked inside. So quick recap: I wasn't awful, but did turned down life altering yoga, and had a man blow on the inside of my bottom lip. I have got to find greener pastures than this.

1 comment:

  1. that's how vegans kiss carnivores/dairyvores i guess

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