21 was big, just days before I got my mission call to France, I think it was the last birthday I have looked forward to celebrating. All the ones in between now and then, { 24 I moved to DC, 26 got married, 28 got divorced} have come and gone without much thought. However 30, 30 is one that has generated a lot of reflection. I think it is because, to me, 30 always seemed like the year when you were really an adult, when life would be settled and secure, when your toddler would bring you breakfast in bed, and your husband would take the day off to spend it with you. Hmmm....let's just do a quick run down to see if "that" worked out

*Married: no divorced
*Kids to bring that breakfast: no, see above
*Darling house: check, kind of, I live with mom and dad. (and it should be.             mentioned that if I was in Utah, my dad totally would have made me breakfast, mountain buffet with orange juice).
*Perfect job: well.....I have a job, let's leave it at that:)

So how can I be this content and calm if I am nothing close to my previous belief about this time in life? 30 is not what I expected, I am not what I had expected. I have lived in 13 different places, traveled to more than that, I have loved many, and met the "love of my life"4 times. I have had moments when I've loved life so much I wanted to burst, and times when life seemed far too much, and I desperately wanted it to end. Luckily, the lows are long past, and I am blissfully grateful that I am here, I am 30, and living more than ever. I am here because of every choice I have made, and every large choice was given extensive thought, so this outcome, this alternate ending,...this came from me. I am the product of my thoughts,and that is not too shabby overall.

After 30 years I don't feel old, or damaged, or broken, or downtrodden,  I feel gratitude more than anything. Gratitude for my family,  wonderful siblings, amazing parents. Gratitude for those who have loved me, pushed me, challenged me, gratitude for those who have taught me, gratitude for those who listened, and laughed, and saved, and protected. In 30 years I have seen ancient artifacts, natural wonders, architectural wonders, priceless works of art, I have stamps in my passport and can get by in 3.5 languages. I have eaten frogs, and kissed a few more than that.  Taking all of this into consideration, my most favorite part of 30, is by far the people that have enlivened every moment of this kaleidoscope. So on this my birthday, I sincerely say, thank you for being part of my journey.