Labor Day Part 1: I took out my boarding pass, she scanned it, I boarded the plane. It smelled like asiago bagel, my boarding pass not the plane. I was dizzy, tired, and a little shaky, a "good morning have a nice flight" came from the man er woman with red er blond? hair. I wasn't my best self. A new anxiety had met me about 3 weeks ago when I realized I had a ticket bought, car rented and planned a charming surprise....had planned a surprise, I canceled it! I knew the wonder was gone, had for a while, but I was still going and I feared a potential field of landmines was now waiting for me at the other end. A field I wasn't told about, a field that should have never been infested in my mind. At least give me an idea, an indicator of where not to step. No such comfort came as I found 20A and securely stowed my carry-on. I couldn't help but think, "this is stupid, why do you choose to meet life head on, you silly girl why can't you just smile and cry and giggle and allow yourself to be doughy, the go-with-everything-bland type that they want?" Oh I was so far from that now as my parkinson's-esque reactions continued; it took 4 tries for the seat belt to be "securely fastened". I am sure I was pale, I could feel it because it was hard to close my mouth or blink my eyes, my hands were freakishly white and clamy and stiff. I think rigamortis was setting in but my pulse was racing. I pulled the smashed bagel out of my bag, they put on too much cream cheese, they always do that. The thought of eating made me sick, but it was 5am and I had 1hr drive meeting me at the other end of this flight and I knew I wouldn't stop for food so in went the bagel. I chocked it down. No literally my throat was so tight I nearly chocked. The powers that be in the universe must have been smiling on me for some reason because I slept the whole flight. I awoke as the landing gear met the tarmac. "Will you need rental car insurance"...."no"........"direction?"..........."no, I am just going west on I-90"........."alright you are all set have a nice weekend" . I usually drive a standard, don't worry I quickly figured out this was an automatic as I attempted to depress the clutch, which was really the break. "Nice MK, real nice. How's the bagel sitting now?" I am not quite sure how I got from A toB that day, the radio, the road signs, the British voice in the background from the gps, they were all just blurry. I was awake but still felt like I was in a dream sequence. Why couldn't there be unicorns? They wouldn't fix the sting of the whole aforementioned landmines issue but, they would make the 12 miles remaining just a little better. Car now parked I flicked my hair, don't worry it wasn't lovely and seductive, my fingers got caught in a snarl. "Why the hell did I wear wedges today! I am like 7 feet tall and wobbly because my nerves have decided to become my loyal travel companions! Damn nerves, damn wedges, just damn." I wanted to get back in the car, speed up the coast, and murder these nerves via drowning them in a puddle of butter that would be served with the Maine lobsters that would be waiting. Lobsters weren't like landmines, they wouldn't blow up in my face, or rip off limbs when triggered, with lobster you always know what you are getting....buttery white flesh under a red suit of armor. "Hey I am outside....ya the drive was quick...". I should have gone for the coast. I should have found lobster at 8:19am. In about 30 seconds I was going to potentially be met with the first landmine.........

Labor Day Part #2:
................and then I realized I needed to man up , meet the moment head on, then enjoy the weekend, and leave the drama to the drag queens and reality TV.