Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Frozen Dinners: it takes a minute to get to my point but just stick with me.....As one can imagine, being divorced people tiptoe around marriage with me, gag I hate that! On the other hand, I really appreciated when a friend in a for a quick visit today, just asked point blank what I thought about marriage and if I wanted to get married again...... I love marriage! Marriage is wonderful however, I think marriage is difficult, the most important things in life usually are (family, patience, love, forgiveness). The thing I have learned the most is this...it doesn't get better. If you think he/she will change, they won't. If you think things get easier because you share a roof, lies. If you think your time together will be "better" or "higher quality" because you are married so there is no commute and naked spooning and conserving water by showering together are now "allowed" sans guilt, wrong again. {wow sorry about all the air bunnies """} If you are a nagging, moody controlling, diva as a girlfriend, don't elude yourself or him into thinking you will be a loving, sweet, submissive wife. If he is always watching the game, engrossed in work, obsessed with warcraft, or is a total slob, don't think he will be any different as a husband/father. The key is representing yourself in the beginning as honestly and genuinely as possible. This doesn't mean put yourself in the best light 24/7, this means you show your strengths and weakness', you show you are solid with AB & C but really suck at maybe DE & F. You mustn't be afraid to let them see you fail, weak, vulnerable, human. Marriage is not two perfect people finding a love that only gets better and easier with the " I do" and kids, marriage is 2 flawed people understanding that what they have while they are dating is a pretty close depiction of how they will be married. Late, sloppy, moody, controlling, mothering, funny, easy going, eats too fast, misses punch lines, social awkward, whatever the personality just be be you, for every Romeo there is a Juliet. Marriage doesn't make it easier, kids don't fix the problems. Yes children will bring a different kind of joy, yes living under the same roof will make things "easier", but in the end marriage is like a frozen dinner: if you buy the bargain brand chicken fried steak for $1.57, even if you put it into your really expensive microwave, it will still taste like bargain brand chicken fried steak. Just because you took it out of the poorly lit, dirty around the edges grocery store and into your lovely home doesn't mean you can expect fillet mignon when the timer dings. {The box clearly states chicken fried steak with sides of coleslaw and brownie}. There are so many choices but telling yourself it will get better...that shouldn't be one of them. You should be thrilled with your level of happy before the "I do's" -even if you do just really want chicken fried steak-

1 comment:

  1. Whole- heartily agree! (and same with the "apologie" post. :) love you!

    ReplyDelete