Motivation: funny what things motivate you to do other things....like the fact that my lovely work benefits ending on May 31st motivated me to: get a physical, have blood work done, get my teeth cleaned, get my crown replaced, get that mole on my arm removed, see the optometrist, and the lady doctor all in a matter of weeks :)...and in case you were wondering, everything was A okay.

"Hi, my name is Kate, I am newish to limbo, I have been here before, but its been a while, I am not sure I am happy to be here, but I am here none the less. So I guess, um, my name is Monica Kate and I am a limboaholic":I make decisions very quickly. When I am done, I am done. Pretty sure I have mentioned this before but if not, here goes my broken record. When I decided to serve a mission, I had my papers in 3 days later, and a call 14 days after that. When I decided I was done with Utah for a moment, I found a job in DC and I was in the car a week later. When I knew the marriage was never going to work, I had the Uhaul loaded a few hours later. When there was heartbreaking fallout @ my DC job, I waited to see if it could be fixed and when I they didn't even try to repair after a few months, I was out. Back to Utah again.... It was my dream to work @ Sundance since I was young. I adored the mountains, the overall feel, I knew it would be the perfect fit. Sundance was enough of a pull for me to leave DC and not really have time to look back with longing. It WAS enough of a pull, then it too started to crumble and what I thought would be a wise shift, became nothing more than a pile of crumbs on the floor passed over even by the mice. I thought I would remain there for at least 2 years, it held me for only 6 months. Now I am here....secretly hoping the next step isn't right in front of me and I just can't see it :)

Loosen up my buttons?: Yay, a last minute date called. We had texted back and forth a bit, a few phone calls, and he had a change in his schedule so off to a first date dinner we went. Wings! I tried to eat like a lady, but wings render me neanderthalic {yes that is a adjective} The wings are the point. The point is that we had been eating for a while when the waiter looked at me, then his eyes got huge! He kept tugging at his shirt whenever I looked at him...oh crap! I looked down, yep button were undone. Nice work MK. I asked my date how long it had been like that, he said he didn't know, a while maybe. Instead of just leaving it at that, I began to explain how I was doing my laundry and when he called it wasn't try yet, so I ran into my sisters closet and to my luckily someone had left a bra in the drawer, close enough to my size, only kicker it was a serious push up. This made it so my shirt was apparently a bit tight but I didn't notice. Really Monica, on a first date just laugh, flirt a little, do not under any circumstance mention you are wearing a push up bra!

Customer Service: The conversation with CapitolOne Bank this morning went like this:

"For verification with our new system Ms. Moore, I am going to ask you a series of questions."

and the questions were:

"Which of the follow cars have you owned from the following list" 

I answered, then

"At which address have you lived in the past 5 years from the following list"

I answered, then

"Which age bracket does Karen J. fit into from the following list"

"Um that is my ex husband's ex wife! I have no clue maybe 34? Where are you getting these questions?"

"Sorry ma'am I am not sure where the questions are generated let's try another. In what city does Alyssa R. reside from the following list?"

-laughing a bit- "Are you serious? That is my ex husbands other ex wife who I know nothing about other than her name! Seriously I would love to know where they are getting these questions, because I have no clue."

"Well that is odd ma'am,  but unfortunately if you can't answer I can't help you. Can you call him to get the answers so we can fully verify you?"

"Are you kidding me? No way. Let me speak to a supervisor please."

Can you imagine that conversation......"hey Nate, haven't talked to you in a while. Watched the Stanley Cup this year? How is the family? Oh and how old is Karen, and where does Alyssa live" ya I don't think so. So I got the supervisor and wouldn't you know it the supervisor laughed with me then gave me the info I needed. Happy Hump Day

I really tried not to like them. I really try to like the unknown band, the garage talent, but really? How can I not?

Reflect: what is that? you don't think I post enough pictures of myself? Oh well I agree :) Here are a few more of the remaining pics from Singapore. You've seen the food, my feet, my hands, now here is my reflection.

Walking through an underpass...a really lovely mirrored with botanicals underpass

Don't let the spherical mirror fool you, I am not that wide, nor are my legs that skinny :) oh trompe l'oeil, so great. The SIGLAP park connector is a very very long trail that connects many of the stunning parks on Singapores west side. I made it about 16 ft before realizing skinny jeans=sweat makers in SG. but I kept walking of course, because I had to see what lay around the next bend. 6 miles later, I really really understood why Germans wear those really short shorts.

 

buried treasure from a shipwreck, casino elevator. Yep I went into casinos, why? because they have the cleanest bathrooms, amazing art, free drinks, and this one had hot passed appetizers! Take that Vegas.

Little morning run (not in jeans!) let me to a fish market, where you literally pick your fish right out of the tank, and this is no Red Lobster lobster tank, these fish are enormous. 

 

Waiting for the MRT (metro) to take me to church, and the botanical gardens after church

 

The art museum had a "Make your own Shadow" wall, and I clearly couldn't resist.

I look happy, well I am, but really I am not. this is me in the bathroom of the Tokyo airport wondering how I can manage to stay forever (not in the bathroom, in Asia silly)

Food:shall we talk about the food? Let's. Singapore is an incredible melting pot of culture. Thai, Japanese, Chinese, Malay, and they all fit in one compact little country, and they all have a presence. Singapore's fine dinning circuit is simply ridiculous! Amazing chef's. However, the hakkas -little food stands crammed together- are equally amazing. I didn't know what I was ordering half the time so I just pointed or told the cook to choose for me. Sometimes this was a ver VERY wise choice and my mind was blown, other times this was a bad bad choice and my mind was literally blown because the food was so hot! I ate fish head soup - yes the fish head had giant sharp teeth-, noodles till I almost popped, curries, sushis, japanese pancakes, thanks Andres for that little gem, fine food, street food, hot food, cold food. It is greatly missed. 

World renowned steamed pork dumplings. The server was a bit shocked I ate them all by myself...and they were just the appetizer ;)

 Steamed Vanilla Cake. A very gelatinous take on cake....it was divine. Not sure I can replicate it, but I will certainly be trying. 

 Lychee sorbet with a deep fried crab stuffed lychee. @ Savour. AMAZING!

 Seared scallop with dill vichyssoise, squid ink, barley crumble @ Savour I think i licked the plate

 Prosciutto with tomato and mozzarella meringue via liquid nitrogen...meh good idea but not amazing

 pink peppercorn macaron sandwich, street food...herbed bun with sausage. 

 my mystery bag, a point and order moment that resulted in pure lust for prata...and they serve their to-go sauces in baggies, so great. 

Look at their faces :) They are in awe because we were @ Luke's having: lobster mac and cheese, the most amazing burger I have ever put in my mouth, steak tartar to perfection, and a few small bites sent out by the chef
 {they were only sent out because we were tagalongs with the simply wonderful Andres Lara}

 The bacon that literally made my taste buds weep it was so good.
{let it be known had Luke not been married I would have kissed him on the mouth for that makin that bacon!}

 more street food, noodles with a soy cake and shrimp

While in Singapore I

 slept here {don't be jealous, and yes the sheets are Snoopy, and no I didn't ever climb to the top bunk}:

got off the train here:

to walk to my adventure here: (UFO type structure on the left)

which consisted of "working" {it was more playing} with them:

Hands:So I thought, after seeing my feet, you should see my hands, the second most photographed bit of "me" in Singapore. {feet were first}

I needed a good ride for my 30th birthday:

blogging while devouring amazing eggs benedict. At the end of the day sometimes, even in foreign countries with amazing food, you still have to make sure they are preparing your favorite correctly....don't worry, they were.

Feet:

Traveling alone always leaves you at a lack of yourself in the pictures. So to resolve this in Singapore, as I did last year in Amsterdam, I took pictures of my feet, so that some of me could be in some of the pictures.

Little roller coaster @ Universal Studios Singapore

 Sharks @ the aquarium

man made beach & the LEGO exhibit @ the Art and Science Museum 

Jurong Bird Park 

 On top of an elephant!!!

 At the Zoo looking at a crocodile...the zoo is so large they have a tram.

21 was big, just days before I got my mission call to France, I think it was the last birthday I have looked forward to celebrating. All the ones in between now and then, { 24 I moved to DC, 26 got married, 28 got divorced} have come and gone without much thought. However 30, 30 is one that has generated a lot of reflection. I think it is because, to me, 30 always seemed like the year when you were really an adult, when life would be settled and secure, when your toddler would bring you breakfast in bed, and your husband would take the day off to spend it with you. Hmmm....let's just do a quick run down to see if "that" worked out

*Married: no divorced
*Kids to bring that breakfast: no, see above
*Darling house: check, kind of, I live with mom and dad. (and it should be.             mentioned that if I was in Utah, my dad totally would have made me breakfast, mountain buffet with orange juice).
*Perfect job: well.....I have a job, let's leave it at that:)

So how can I be this content and calm if I am nothing close to my previous belief about this time in life? 30 is not what I expected, I am not what I had expected. I have lived in 13 different places, traveled to more than that, I have loved many, and met the "love of my life"4 times. I have had moments when I've loved life so much I wanted to burst, and times when life seemed far too much, and I desperately wanted it to end. Luckily, the lows are long past, and I am blissfully grateful that I am here, I am 30, and living more than ever. I am here because of every choice I have made, and every large choice was given extensive thought, so this outcome, this alternate ending,...this came from me. I am the product of my thoughts,and that is not too shabby overall.

After 30 years I don't feel old, or damaged, or broken, or downtrodden,  I feel gratitude more than anything. Gratitude for my family,  wonderful siblings, amazing parents. Gratitude for those who have loved me, pushed me, challenged me, gratitude for those who have taught me, gratitude for those who listened, and laughed, and saved, and protected. In 30 years I have seen ancient artifacts, natural wonders, architectural wonders, priceless works of art, I have stamps in my passport and can get by in 3.5 languages. I have eaten frogs, and kissed a few more than that.  Taking all of this into consideration, my most favorite part of 30, is by far the people that have enlivened every moment of this kaleidoscope. So on this my birthday, I sincerely say, thank you for being part of my journey.

I turned 30 in a pool:
It was a wonderful day, a busy day. I went for a really late night run, then for a dip in the pool. Lap after lap after lap. Then I floated, and just listened to traffic, felt the breeze, alone in the twilight with nowhere to be, no one to miss me, nothing else to do except sit and feel everything in moment. When I was done I hoped out, dried off, glanced at my watch, 12:45p April 17th. I had turned 30 while swimming in a pool in Singapore.....not bad.

Let's talk about the areas in Singapore I visited today:

Chinatown: characterized by Hello Kitty everything, everywhere, stand after stand after stand of jade bracelets, racks of silk robes, firework stands-which I wanted to buy but I fear they'd be confiscated, sorry trash can man-, noodle huts, and calligraphy booths. Chinese lanterns lit the streets, and the faint sent of incense from the near by temple filled the air. Emerald necklaces downstairs, and upstairs, if you chose the "right" place you could get a massage, in the words of one masseus who approached me, " I will make you fall in love with Singapore" I politely declined and tried not to laugh, I don't want to fall in love with any country like that!

Little India: characterized by used CD booths, cell phones in the front, henna in the back. The area smelled delightful, flower strands hung everywhere, I am sure they have a significance but it was 11p and I didn't really care. I figure it was to mask the curry smell that seemed to ooze out of every third person's skin. No  lanterns, just blaring neon signs, whose glimmer was only surpassed by the gaudy gold stores. More gold than I have ever seen, and in the most rundown, gross, display cases. No message places, but after about 20 minutes I realized a lot of men were looking at me, maybe it was because I was the only girl out? Maybe it was because it was so hot out, that earlier, I ditched my pants and was wearing my tunic as a dress, a short dress. Either way it was not my dream come true, the fact that the guy at the qwiki mart, who sold me my water and lychee gummies, gave me the gummies for free because he wanted to "give me a gift", that was alright ;)

So nut shell: don't get a massage in Chinatown unless....unless nothing just don't. And don't wear a shirt as a dress in Little India. You're welcome.

I tend to lump ideas like love languages and birth order, into the pish posh folder. But the older I get {ahhh 30 is just a few days away!!} the more I realize there is truth to them...well there is truth to birth order.

I am a middle child. I have done things, seen things, and been places no one else in my family has. I am very much a product of my upbringing. We are all a bit wild in our own ways.  I am a bit funny, kind, generous, selfless, I love to serve, and wish I could take credit  for being this way but i cannot, I am this way because my parent were and are funny, kind, generous, selfless, humble and a million other amazing things.   There are however times, I really crave a yacht, a designer wardrobe complete with fancy bags and heels with red soles. There I times I want giant giant diamonds and a private island to live on and a small country to control. It is at these moments I wonder ;) {this would lend you to think I was an only child}

Then there are moments when I am wrong or I make a mistake or I get on a plane to Singapore and I am wrong and make mistakes all within the first few minutes of being in the kitchen and the middle child thing kicks in with a fury. I get quiet, internally hot and embarrassed, and I instantly feel like I don't belong and I scramble to feel like I fit in.  Sadly this happened almost every single day! And maybe not so sadly.....because it got me to thinking.

Where do I belong? And while I was cleaning up the chocolate mess, or bagging the cake batter whose eggs were over whipped, or re-platting, or or or and, I had a fraction of the realization that I belong wherever I am. Within reason of course. This is not new knowledge but little reminders are nice to have. I have the same mortal right as any color, any height, any nationality, any religion, to breath the air, explore the unknown. There will be more who know more, have seen more, have been there before, but comparisons should never be made. We all sleep, oxygenate blood, and give or take one or two, we all have the same # of bones and chromosomes. We should not compare, but learn from those who have been/seen/explored/done/gone before. With all hope, those persons will be willing to enlighten, if not, we must be gracious and move on to another who will assist your progression in a positive direction.

And once I convinced myself of this, everything else was bliss. Chocolate was perfectly tempered, cakes were decorated with ease, and plating was up to snuff. There is nothing in your way, except yourself.

I swam with the rays today. There is a little water park on a little island called Sentosa. It is basically a a commercial vortex complete with Universal Studios, a casino, a Hard Rock Hotel & Cafe, and a bundle of shops, more hotels, restaurants.... and this water park. I have only ever seen rays from the other side of the glass, or on The Discovery Channel, so when I found out at on a first come first serve basis you could feed them, I was the first one to sign up this morning. By 11:am I was in booties and ray gloves with a cooler of shrimp and fish bits. A few splashes in the water to indicate I was there, and I was surrounded. Big rays, little rays, rays with spots, black rays, white rays, and this really long odd shaped one. Kenza you better watch out, I think I want a ray tank.

Just a few thought: Bags in Asia are so expensive when you sit at a restaurant they bring you a small table or cart just for your purse. I don't get it, the really expensive ones are made from stingray or crocodile right, aren't those animals pretty tough? I guess not tough enough for the floor. .... and it makes me feel fancy ;) It's hot here, and it's humid, and I love it. {I really am sad I didn't get a little bit more winter skiing in}. Last night the train station was particularly sticky. The heat was low and stagnant. I think I descretely smelled my arm pits every 19 seconds to see if that moldy old boat carpet smell was me, it wasn't ...at least I don't think it was.