Home: this year I didn't make it home for Christmas, however my dear friend Johnson brought me a little reminder....home is where the heart is. {oh come on! cheesy I know but look how darling this cookie is! you would have said the same thing, don't judge}

Instructions: went to Hershey, PA for a little weekend trip right before Christmas, I had to there is a place called Candy Lane! My favorite thing at Hershey Park was this sign, describing how to prepare for a ride...that's what I am talking about.

"Daisy, daisy give me your answer do.

I'm half crazy all for the love of you...

and you'll look sweet

upon the seat of my....jetta?"

As a child I always pictured a kid with a flower daisy

on his bike seat whenever I heard that song.

Never did it occur to my little mind

that it was a girl named, Daisy.

So as you can imagine on my trip back from

Christmasing in Cleveland this year,

{the orchid was a little, "welcome to the land of perogies and the Browns", gift}

that song rang through my head every

time I looked at the seat next to me.

{for a non homo sapien, an orchid makes a lovely traveling companion}

Possessions: as winter is making pathetic attempts to come to DC, I watch the squirrels trying to stow away as much as they can in their precious caches. Today before the sun was up, I went and visited mine. It was the Friday evening when I put the lock on my cache, and it took me over a month to go back. I had been wearing the same 5 outfits for over a month, a black cotton dress, jeans, a stripe shirt, a charcoal v-neck, a black shirt, a hoodie. I would have stayed away longer but the jeans ripped. I sat and looked at the lock on the unit for a good 5 min through tear stained eyes before I opened it that first time. My entire life, stuffed into a 10x15 room. It was incredible how emotionally charged that incident was, I couldn't breath. It was difficult looking at the physical evidence of the drastic change I had made. I would be antsy and anxious every time I headed up after that, however this morning at 6:30am things were different. As I looked at the possessions I had acquired throughout the years, boxes and boxes, all my things taped and labeled, there was no emotional reaction (nor has there been for some time now), I was at peace with what had happened, content with where my life was going. It is true that I long for the day when I will have all my things in one place with a large and spacious kitchen where all my dishes can finally breath, but today is not that day. I can't even remember what is in some of those those boxes. I moved from 2200 sq. ft to 220 sq. ft 7 months ago and I am realizing more and more which "things" really matter in my life, which possessions to keep close.

Mmmmm Late night snack:...my sentiments exactly.

Faux Pas: I have recently heard, "any one would be lucky to have you, you are amazing"-or variations of it-quite frequently. While this statement is meant as a soother, it is blatantly false and I don't like it. You know when you are at the grocery store and you buy really plump chicken breast only to realize while cooking them, that they looked so great because they were injected with water?! It is the same idea, displaying a product to be more than it really is. Anyone would not be lucky to have me, a select few is more like it. FYI this is not me being depressed! Mine is a personality of simple beginnings, vicious speed, dreams beyond capacity, and endless hope. This "type" that I am, works well with some however, it hasn't worked with a few more than some. This is wherein the faux pas lies, in any relationship be it business, friend, or passionate, we cannot expect to work with everything that life has to offer. This is where life gets its charm. We must be honest with who and what we are and not get bogged down when we are "rejected" or "neglected" because, it may simply be that our "types" didn't mesh. It says nothing of who you are but everything about what doesn't work so that next time you can avoid the time taken in investing in something that will have the same outcome regardless of how hard you try. Figure out what/who will work with you and go for that. Don't waste time on telling yourself that you are amazing and anyone, any company, any person/place/animal/thing would be lucky to have you, it's a lie. You are amazing, that much is true, but you are also unique and as such will only "fit" in certain places, that is what gives you and me our charm. Don't spread yourself thin and try to be everyone, keep yourself close and develop wonder so you can be exquisit for something/someone.

Monica:yes my name, very good. Stopped at a light the other day, I glanced a bit closer to a church I pass almost daily here in DC and I saw this...so I did a quick google search -yes while in the car stopped at the light not driving- and I found that Saint Monica is the patron saint of Married Woman, hmmm interesting. I feel it is noteworthy to also include that along with that, she the patron saint of alcoholics.

Deutschland: so many lovely happy things about that place: pretzels, bratwurst, sauerkraut, Neuschwanstein Castle, and these darlings....pictured above are my 3 favorite Kinders: Kinder Riegel, Kinder Bueno, and my newest find Kinder Happy Hippo. Thank you World Market for introducing me to the Hippos.

*Deutschland is easier to navigate on the google earth app for the iPhone than France*

New Year's Eve: every since I can remember we have had a cereal tradition in my family. Growing up with 4 siblings was a riot, and it was expensive. My parents worked hard and didn't come from trust funds or win the lotto so things like bagged cereal and powered milk were "normal". Boxed cereal was a luxury, one that we knew would come without fail every 31st of December. My mother would take the 5 of us to the grocery store on or just before New Year's Eve, and let each of us pick our own box of cereal! Boxed! With milk from a gallon! We would then eat it as much of it as we wanted while watching our favorite, "Some Like it Hot" just before we banged on pots and pans to ring in the New Year. For the past few years this tradition has slipped through the cracks but, happily this year I had assistance in once again finding the nostalgia in eating as much Trix as I wanted on New Year's Eve. Some Like it Hot and the pots and pans will come next year I am sure.

2012: *yes I think it is a rule of the universe that if you blog you must blog about the new year or close of the old one. If you don't I am pretty sure the blog gods make it so that: your computer crashes or your photos never upload or your cell phone charger magically disappears, I don't want that so here is my offering*....

Dear 2012,

It's about time you showed up! I am ready to have my world rocked (and when I say that I mean in a good way), I hope you came prepared.

regards,

MK

**********

Dear 2011,

I am really glad you are gone. I don't know whether to blow you a kiss at your departure because you brought so many great things, or flip you off while speaking every known profanity because you brought a load of unexpected nasty stuff. I suppose it doesn't matter much because you are gone.

regards,

MK

Saturn?: who knew that ringed planet could be such a bother !! According to my very trusted source (yahoo news...yes people still look at yahoo!), my year as an aries boar [zodiac + chinese zodiac] is looking great because Saturn is on the move - fyi it should be known that I only look at this stuff when it pops up on yahoo news, I don't base my life on planets and numbers, and the direction a pencil goes when held over my head- :

"Throughout Saturn's residence in your partnership house over the past few years, you have endured some of the most challenging and rewarding relationship lessons of your life. After putting you through the karmic ringer, the cosmic taskmaster will finally leave this sector of your chart for another 30 years. You'll happily bid farewell to the trials, tests, tribulations and insecurities, despite all the wisdom they've imparted."

"Pay attention to that inner voice. Give yourself what you need, when you need it. Today might be booked with lunch dates and chores, but it's also OK to cancel all your plans and take care of yourself. If you need some solo time, take it."

"you'll be confronted with the culmination of a quest for radical change that began last year. Use the momentum of the first quarter of the year to launch your major projects, Pluto will turn retrograde between April and September, causing a forced slowdown and re-evaluation of your priorities"

"This is your make-or-break year - so let it rip!"

After reading that I feel like I should be burning a patchouli candle while eating a wheat germ burger while wearing a hemp tunic with no bra!

quite possibly the best version of the true story of Christmas I have ever seen. I especially love the star @ 2:29....Merry Christmas.

Five: the age of wonder and the age of two darling girls that have capture a little bit {big bit} of my heart. I love five because life is a daily exploration. Today I was getting ready to wash their grey usually pink coats when I noticed one coat was particularly heavy....the very important contents of the pockets were pure bliss for me: squeezy applesauce cap, a few robots, a sequin, a wad of old gum, a gum ball machine ring. Secret treasures of utmost value.

At five, questions become so scientific and naive responses no longer suffice. Last week the question of, "how do you know how old trees are?" was in dire need of resolution, luckily we had just the man for the job on hand.

At five, bodies and faces just do this without prompt:

At five, art projects are an essential part of almost every waking hour, and from time to time an art project sneaks into my bag. Yesterday on my way "home" I happened upon an envelope that read, "For my Ica" it's contents:

You see five is wonder, and I have adored having 10 in my life this year [twin 5 yr olds, 5+5=10, get it]

Amies: a charming little french word that means "friends". The wonderful thing about dear friends is that months can go by and when you finally get together it feels like no time has passed at all. [well other than the fact that your hair is longer or a different color or shorter, one has moved, one is year older, one has moved on, and all have "news"]. The poor patrons had to listen to the three of us crack up -okay lets face it Johnson and Ruth have nice lady like laughs, I was the only cackle- for over 2 hours. We talked about the good, the bad, the ugly, and the muscly :) I don't have hoards of friends, but the ones I do have are dear to me. Being so rare these moments these days, in pathetic attempts we all took turns holding my phone with greasy burger fingers trying to capture the grandeur of our gathering....not so grand. "hmm nope let hold up some food", "hmm too much onion ring, that looks creepy", "hmm its a little dark" "Ruth you moved", "hmm not focused", "whoa, stupid burger grease", "ya not bad".

*je vous aime*

Sick: so I have been sick for coming on 6 weeks now, not cool. I take vitamins, drink OJ, wash my hands after blowing my nose....this isn't working! On a night when a hot bath and an 8:pm bed time were calling, so was Jenny Ellen. I answered hers and headed to the National Harbor to see "the tree". Kara and Russell joined us, well I should say I joined them. The tree did not disappoint, (which is more than I can say for the tragedy in front of the White House, trim that sucker!) the lights changed colors every few seconds and then every half hour they flashed in sync with music. Never have seen a grown woman -Jenny Ellen- make such a fuss about a tree. It was a great night, the highlight however may have just been when a compliment was trying to be paid to me and I was told, "or maybe you are skinnier than you look" needless to say, it didn't come out right, pretty sure I could have just been told, "you are chubby" and I would have been happy, we had a good laugh and then a bad burger. Elevation Burger you did not soar to new heights, thumbs down. So here you have me, in boots with fur, by the tree, looking chubbier than I am ?

11:pm: should've been in bed but the butter was calling....

Bark (not to be confused with woof or the stuff on a tree): really? I think you are above rice crispy treats or those ready bake cookies. Plus these are quicker.

spatula, off set spatula, microwave safe bowl, knife, parchment paper, candy canes or mints

chocolate melts (these are NOT the same as chocolate chips, make sure you use these)

pulse candy canes in a blender or a food processor until they look like this:

melt dark chocolate first, spread using the off-set spatula on the parchment, allow to dry or pop in the fridge if you are really pressed for time.

when it has a matte finish and is hard to the touch, repeat with the white chocolate but this time work quick because the white will melt the dark and the layers will combine if you spread too much, top immediately with the crushed peppermint and put in the fridge or allow to harden.

Be careful to let it set all the way through but not too much because when you cut it you want to make sharp lines, if you don't care about sharp lines then it can sit as long as you want and you can just break it by hand.

Voila wrap and give or put on a plate and take it up to bed and enjoy it while watching a holiday movie.

O Tannebaum: Not to be confused with The Royal Tenenbaums, I am speaking of the evergreen version. Christmas feels a little lost this year, in DC the weather is warm (68 last week) there is no sign of snow, and traditions are taking a pause. My mother usually has this genius idea to read a Christmas story every night in December, every night she starts and then without fail about 4 pages in, she is a sobbing mess and hands the book to my father or one of us to finish. By now presents have been put under the tree and I have carefully unwrapped and re-wrapped the ones for me. [yes I "ruin" Christmas for myself every year, have been since I was about 4] Paper plates of cookie assortments and chocolate dipped pretzels that look like they just got back from the war adorn our kitchen counters, little gifts from neighboring friends. These treats become my December feast, quick tip: 12 days after being dropped off red and green rice crispy cookies are really REALLY hard so I pour milk over them and eat them for breakfast. Waste Not! There are off key carolers, secret stash and dash Santa gifts left, and then there is Christmas baking. I could say a lot about this but in the spirit of the holidays and wanting people to still like me next year, I will refrain. And then there is the tree, ahh I love the smell, the needles that get stuck in your socks and poke your feet. My parents put up about 9 trees ever year with a big 15 ft tree in the living room, this year I don't have space for a tree and I think I miss that the most. So in place of my own, I take frequent walks, often out of my way, to the Eastern Market tree area, it is like walking through a forest. I walk slowly and inhale the whole time. The tree guys recognize me by now and have stopped asking if I need help, this little walk is my bit of Christmas memory just deconstructed.

Simple: I hastily await Christmas this year because I cannot wait to have things be simple. Some years feel easy, they have their days sometimes weeks, but they seem as a whole easy. I have had a few of those, and a few of these. By "these" I mean the complicated years. They can be years of death or pain or so much change that you can't tell up from down or home from abroad, the years of hurried pace or kaleidoscope emotions, of too many sleepless nights or getting home and then realizing you don't remember the last 12 hours [and you haven't had 12 redbulls or a joint], they are just complicated. You can't avoid them you just have to let them run their course. You can however determine how the complications will affect you. (confession I am not as much like a duck as I would like to be....things tend to stick a bit). One of my favorite artist Brian Andres (mind you I don't adore his art but I adore his quotes) has this on one of his Story People:

"I finally got to exactly where I wanted to be, she said, so why won't all these growth experiences go away & leave me alone?"

I don't feel that I am exactly where I want to be but I can gaze hopefully to the day when all the growth experiences will go away and leave me alone- I imagine that day will be when I have Alzheimer's because even if they do come, I won't remember them :)- until then I look forward to next Friday which will mark the day my "simple" time this year begins. Simple time like this... spending 5 minutes just to get these incredibly delicious little cookies to stand up while I take pointless pictures.

Time: love languages make me a little uneasy. I am not really comfortable being described as one word or idea. I receive love through gifts/time/words of affirmation, blah blah blah. The truth is sometimes I need a giant present, sometimes I need to be told I am a smoking fox [let it be noted I don't think this will ever happen but it sounds nice :)], sometimes I need to be held or served or whatever the other languages are. I am multi-lingual. An old flame who has now become a dear friend recently pointed out though that what I gravitate to most however, is time. I need time. As with many, I returned home for Thanksgiving. It is my favorite holiday. Food, family, and everything is slowed. No rushing for last minute gifts, no crowds, no strict tradition. We took time to just:

play Rumikub for hours and eat giant Cougar Creamery Coconut Joy/Pistachio cones

have an NCIS marathon while the turkey was cooking

find the perfect dress for my little sis Hannah

get used to the fact that family is sometimes small, just 4 this year

breath in enough crisp mountain orchard air to last me 6 months in DC