Dump:what you do when you have a bunch of stories and a bunch of pictures and you want to share but you realize people don't really want the stories they just want the pictures.....

Max: 3 letters, a little word that can be both/either a noun or an adjective. After getting better acquainted with "Max" during a simply poetic encounter in West Hartford, CT last weekend, I cannot resist but expose my new found source of great joy...

*be advised the following photographs may not be suitable for the hungry or pregnant*

Appetizers:

*pastrami rolled & wrapped in a thinly sliced pickle then battered, fried and served on a bed of sauerkraut*

*buffalo shrimp*

Meat

in the beginning

in the middle

in the end

*8 oz. angus beef stuffed with gorgonzola topped with arugula, grilled onions and mushrooms, bacon, and tomato, sandwiched between 2 munster grilled cheese sandwiches.*

my meshing of 2 of their burger to create a something truly spekateular

(spectacular + Kate= spekateular, ya it's a stretch I know)

Calories: really? you think I cared!! or wanted to know?

The atmosphere of the restaurant was near flawless. It started when the hostess said there was a 20 minute wait but would text us when our table was ready! What? I don't have to carry around a vibrating square that only works if I am 12 ft from the wait stand? They had me at text message. The decor was simple, and masculine, it fell like a well lit, rustic gay man cave. The food came quickly and was as specified and the service was prompt, apparent without hovering. Any one can make a creative burger, but for overall dining experience, Max easily tops my list as best burger ever, and that is saying something, I am a food snob.

2:am:lately my 2:ams look like this....

they do so or did last Thursday because my day had looked like this: wake up early, make cake batter, bake cakes, get twins ready for school, lunches, outfits, walk twins to school, handle 2 babies, frost 2 cakes, make cookie dough, let chill, roll, bake, let sit, pic up twins, take twins for hair cuts, pick up dry cleaning, clean the house, finish the laundry, pack for the weekend out of town, realize you left your straightener in Utah so instead of looking "hot" you get to be lukewarm with frizzy hair in another state, take 4 min to get ready for a blind-date, go on date, come home, breath and then....I did this. Note my tone, (which is NEVER accurately conveyed in written work) is one of relief like, "ah and then, then I got to do this", not "ugh, and then I did this" get it? So yes I love my 2:ams, complete silence -unless the ipod is in- no one needs me, the day is done {or just starting?}, everything is finished and I get to frost. Today was no exception, it was another busy day but with the added bonus of a series of phone calls at the beginning and very end of my day that left me confused and out of sorts but it is 2:am and I am frosting, {well not really, really I am blogging but the cakes are in between coats and it was either this or hulu}, so all in all it turned out to be a beautiful day.

Arlington:Veteran's Day comes and goes every year and I adore it, but only because I get work off. It never has had more of an effect than that, until this year. This year a friend and I headed to Arlington Cemetery. Surrounded by families of lost loved ones brought a different emotion. Usually the cemetery is crowded with tourists, buses, flashes, tour guides, crowds around the Kennedy's graves, but not on this day. There were still crowds but the feeling was different, the quiet was more calm, the pace of the steps much slower. Emotions of sorrow and pride filled the fall air as young families mourned there recent losses and old families paid their tributes to soldiers fallen long ago. I am fortunate to have had parents who both served in the army, friends that are marines, national guard, navy seals all of who's lives have been spared. I often turn a deaf ear to things of this matter because I can't focus on everything at once and my time has been devoted to other things, but this year on Veteran's day, as with the pace in the cemetery, I slowed and allowed myself time to respect what has been done and is being done every waking moment of my life.

Market:if you know me, you know I ADORE markets. Holiday markets, flea markets, vegetable markets, any market. When I take weekend jonts the first thing I google is local markets. sometimes it is a success, like the Eastern Market right here in my own city, and sometimes it is a total disaster that takes me 45 min out of the way only to find a little shack with over priced pottery and Janice, the lady that, yes this is true....makes scarves from the fur she shaves from her cats!!! Gag. So back to a good market, here are 2 reasons why I love my Eastern Market:

Mini Donuts: these suckers are perfect in every way shape and form. Enough said.

Fruit Vendors: these guys are hilarious, they just sit by the scales and talk about whatever they want, occasionally they move forward to cut more samples but usual they hang in the back. They swear, they smoke, they never help or acknowledge you they just rattle off the sum you owe...and they are an integral part of the market for me. They are like the carni guys of fruits. simply perfect.

*yep it's a divroce-esque post about how I am feeling, not going to apologize because this is my blog and I can write what I want, but just thought I'd warn you in case you don't want to hear about it*

Loss: last night I tagged along with my actor friend who had advance screening passes to an upcoming movie that was followed with a Q&A session with Patton Oswalt. It was interesting, a comedian turned actor gabbing about his new film that was artistic but not enticing enough to even make it onto my list of "films to see if you get a free redbox code". But all that aside, he did have something to say struck me enough that I wrote it down;

"Life is about loss. Turning away from it keeps you childish, only in facing it, will you move forward."

Patton you could not be more spot on. We must acknowledge and process the happenings of our life. Processing loss hurts. Loss of a job, loss of a friend, loss of a home. If you think I really want to look at the fact that this year I lost: a love, a companion, a dear friend, a confident, and a comforter, all in one fell swoop you have another thing coming. I don't want to think about the loss divorce has brought me, but I have. I have taken it dead on and I am finding peace in moving forward in my life.

New England: pretty sure it is cultural conditioning, or maybe too many Courrier and Ive's tins with white churches on them at Christmas time, or maybe it's that every calendar for the month of December depicts some Presbyterian church with evergreen wreaths on the doors, who knows but for some reason being in New England during Christmas feels so right, and this little ditty completed the feeling:

Heart: it is a funny thing this organ. Doctors will tell you it has 4 chambers, valves, arteries, veins, they will tell you in the most clinical terms how it functions and why it is so necessary for life. That is easy compared to this...the parts of the heart that can't be explained or transplanted or healed. They are the parts that hurt the most. Today those tender parts of my heart go out to my dear sweet cousin Robert and his beautiful wife, Stacey. On October 2nd she gave birth to little 1lb. 7 oz. Collin, I have followed his progress on facebook and in conversations with my mom and today I received a chain of emails concerning this little guy. After more than a month of loving him and having him in their new little family, Robert and Stacey had to let Collin go on Saturday. I am thousands of miles away, I haven't seen family in months, and I cannot begin to image what the hearts in their home are feeling tonight. Even with knowing that families are forever, loss of any kind weighs heavy. How grateful I am for the closeness of family and faith, while they don't heal the hurt, they provide a safe place to land. "When life's perils thick confound you, His sheep securely fold you, His arms [are] unfailing round you"

Pistachi..ohhhhh!: yep I was midnight snacking on some lovely green pistachios, when there was a web-like consistency to one I had just popped in, I pulled it out to find this....grey and inhabited.

So I was a bit of a slouch during General Conference this year, I fell asleep for a few talks, I had to work during one of the sessions, so in my efforts to rectify my previous failings this morning by listening to a talk to start my day, I stumbled upon this: highlights from conference? 10 hrs. crammed into 16:46 min? Yes please!

Wounds: wounds are funny things, some you see right away because blood is gushing or bones are exposed, some are subtle and just present themselves when pushed or touched and you have to think, "how did I get this giant purple bruise". Some wounds are physical, some are emotional, they are just another part of mortal life.

Often during church I sing the songs, focusing on the notes or the alto/soprano/tenor part so I don't sing off key, I rarely focus and internalize the words. This past Sunday as I sang this verse:

As I search the holy scriptures,

May thy mercy be revealed.

Soothe my troubled heart and spirit;

May my unseen wounds be healed.

I heard the words, and I was touched. I am private about my religion because it is not something I do to fit in or be cool, (and not many think being Mormon is cool but I sure do!) I am not Mormon because my mother and father are, I am not Mormon because I was told to be or pressured into it, I am Mormon because it gives my life purpose, it restore my hope in each day, being Mormon is not something I do, it is who I am. The knowledge and wisdom I have gained about myself and how I fit, are some of my most precious possessions. Now that being said back to the song, I was drop kicked a few times this past year and my "bruises" were well hidden by a smile and a cheery voice, it was all I could do to continue so as not to focus on the hurt. However, every wound must be addressed and healed in order for progression. I wasn't about to broadcast my situation because there were too many unsure variables, so I just went about my days. Last Sunday as I sat in church, tears were held back as I sang that song, because I realized my unseen wounds were being healed because among other things, I was reading an amazing book and it was changing me.

trick or TREATS:

yep I turned 3 of my favorite littles into pastries of sorts this Halloween; cupcakes and a sugar cookie.

Swag:yep I am a sucker for swag. I love free mints at restaurants, I have a Victoria's Secret Angel Card just so I get free underwear every month(this months free hipsters are particularly great), and when I was little I loved Barbie (still do!!) and I would call Mattel and inform them my doll didn't come with shoes and they would send me new pairs! One time I called and asked if they had any extra accessories they could send me and 3 wks later I got a box of shoes, suitcases, sunglasses, etc. My 8 year old world was brighter that day. I realize this is not really "swag" but in my little life it is!

Every 6 months I donate blood. I figure having never: smoked, drank, slept around, or taken drugs, I have pretty good blood. And my heart is in good shape so I am in and out, I fill up that bag like nobody's business. Last Saturday bright and early at 7:15a I headed to the Kettler Iceplex to donate blood. I go there because I get swag :) I was hoping the swag would be to win a date with Brooks Laich-yum-, but no such luck :( T-shirt, bobble head I will never even take out of the box, and free chick-fil-a sandwhich I will never eat was the swag of the week for me. Go ahead be jealous

Should Have Been:a friend was looking through my phone today and she said, "do you have any normal photos of yourself?" well I guess not....

if I were a princess I would have a royal photographer who would take thousands of "normal" pictures....but I am not so I have this instead, and I am alright with that.

Possible: is it possible to be any more in love with Ikea? Oh ya it's possible. Went in for a new Duvet ended up with a new duvet and this....

Rebound:yes I am doing it again, unloading little details about my personal life...when you get divorced, people out of pure curiosity, always! want to know the reason. In my case, some people asked if I had an affair, spoiler alert [! hell no], but if I had known this stuff existed I may *have.

Meet Boylan, my newest addiction/rebound. Isn't he dreamy....

and he pairs so well with nachos and **these:

*yes I know you can't have and affair with creme soda, and yes I know a love for creme soda won't end a marriage. Thanks

**no I am not binging on crap and blowing up like a ballon, I just happened to have these recently and thought they deserved recognition.

Stuff it Maria:Sound of music is great but really? really? rain drops on roses? kitty whiskers? blue belts? really those are your favs? well these are mine: 1. my *sextuple mac and cheese, 2. paying for parking on my phone-no digging for quarters under car floor mats anymore!, 3. med-rare steak, 4. Aisics, 5. this yogurt with lemon peel in it, and 6. over easy eggs.

1. 2.

3. 4. 5.

6.

*yep had to phone a friend for that word. Thank you Doctor