E.T. phone home: so on my way out of town last weekend I stumbled upon this...ya I felt like I should've been wearing a grey hoodie driving behind this...

Wendy: yep I've known her for a decade+ and I keep her around because:

1. 2.

1. when she asks me to come help her find new bedding, I find her this instead and when I say, "put this on I am taking your picture" she knows resistance is futile so she does it!

2. when we finish shopping and I see something sparkly by the car and it happens to be 2 Lindt truffles in a pile of leaves, I totally pick them up and they seem dry so I unwrap one and hand it to her, unwrap the other and we pop em in our mouths, without hesitation. Free chocolate? She's all over that!

*thanks for a few laughs and way too many "that's what she saids" tonight*

Cleveland Rocks: for those of you who hail from Cleveland you may not think this, you may think that song is dead wrong. It is now a post industrial city where the main industry is Metro, the trauma hospital!! I see it slightly different, I am a lover of all food, this is not new information, but I especially love market food.....A few weeks ago I planned a little trip to Cleveland and I googled the city to see what the official food of Cleveland was, there is no "official food" but a whole lotta sites were yammering about pierogies. Later in the doctors office's magazine I found this...

and thought, " how perfect, I can eat market pierogies on pierogy day in the pierogy city"! And that is exactly what I did. I also had market empanadas.

I am all about ambience and market food eaten on benches in the back by the trash as crowds pass, with fantastic company just seems like the thing to do.

Oh we had tamales too.

Definition: I think it is important to be able to look at yourself in a constructive way and determine who you are, what you want, and what is getting in your way. And I mean doing so in an honest way not this:

"I am Monica and I am 28 I really love my family,

I like myself and my church,

my favorite color is pink

but sometimes green,

I want to be

a mommy someday

to a bunch of little kiddos:)" BARF!!

That gets you no where! The whole purpose of honestly asking yourself those questions it to identify what is standing in the way of who you are and what you want and making a plan for how you can become something better than you are today so you can achieve your "wants". It isn't something that can be done necessarily quickly and the fixing sometimes takes as long as the actual realization of the problem. Now, I will not share with you my entire definition because frankly getting to know some my weakness' alone hurts enough and I don't need all of you to be in on it too! and tooting my/your own horn is just wildly unattractive. But I will share this....

" I am Monica, I am 28 and I am a bit of a bad ass

(ya I wrote ass not a*% get over it)

because today while

showering I turned around to

see a spider crawling up my shower

wall arachnophobia style and instead of screeching and jumping

out,

without blinking I smashed that sucker

with my bare hands.

Then I rinsed, repeated, conditioned and took this picture:"

(look at the upper right hand corner to see the carnage)

Men: yep I am finally getting it, I get the fear of commitment, I get the not wanting to settle down, I am starting to understand.....understand that it is all a bunch of bull crap! you aren't afraid of commitment you just enjoy being selfish, living the bachelor life, watching movies on your laptop while eating pizza in bed without commentary. That I get. So consider me now one of the guys, I have a "fear of commitment" and I don't want to "settle down". translation incase you missed it: I really enjoy eating pizza in bed alone at 10:pm while watching a movie, I am not really afraid I am just enjoying my new found peace as a newly single

Birthdays: not sure why exactly but I hate mine. I don't want the cake, I don't want the candles, the singing, the presents, I just want the day to come and go. I love however, to celebrate other's birthdays. Odd?yes I know. Last night-no it was not my birthday-I was out with Wendy and experienced a familiar something that would make anyone detest their birthday, the "Happy Birthday" song sung at a chain restaurant. This experience brings to question, why would you choose to have your "special" day celebrated by allowing a bunch of tone-deaf, musically illiterate servers sing, or if you are lucky sing and clap, to you and then drop a Sysco brownie with dream whip and a candle in front you?

Cotton-candy: completely frivolous but if you are me, completely necessary! I love it, I buy it at hockey games, I buy it in Disneyland even though it is extremely overpriced, I buy it in grocery stores even thought I know its' moisture resistant bag is most likely filled with some less than good for me chemical to make the stuff last for 96 months on shelves. Cotton candy is not necessary for living to some, but it is for me. Along with it I need: laughing, truffle oil, waking up at 6:am, wishing in fountains, and staying up till 4:am talking and laughing a few nights in a row resulting in only 2 hours of sleep/night and having that be more than enough.

*warning personal dumping and more info that you probably wanted in the following post*

Lighter: I was in ballet a few days ago and I was doing a little across the floor sequence when the teacher stopped me...I hate it when they do this!......"you will be lighter if you look up, that last time you looked at the floor and hardly came of it, try again. Now ladies watch the difference..." With my theoretical tail between my legs I headed to the corner of the room to repeat my previously flawed action, correcting it with simple ocular elevation. Doubtful much would change I followed instruction and the results were surprisingly as predicted; I gained 8 inches of vertical lift by simply shifting my focus. The last few months my focus has been on the floor, I have been heavy. Making difficult decisions, thinking hard thoughts, moving my life into a storage shed, and looking at his sleeping face the morning I left him and thinking, "I want to wake you up and tell you what is coming, but I can't." And then leaving, feeling like a monster because nothing was even said, no verbal, "FYI tomorrow I will be gone". I was told I was a runner, a quitter, a coward, a shell of a human. I focused on the "floor" and felt this way, heavy with no lift. There were lawyers, calls, texts, wanting to be my best but somehow coming up sub-par for the course more than I wished. It wasn't all him, it wasn't all me, it wasn't 1 thing. I was a body of severed limbs sinking in a hungry shark tank, and then I started to shift my focus. The ground will always be the ground, there will always be a low, it is a universal law. However, knowing the ground is there and focusing on its' existence are 2 different things. You must understand your opponent to appreciate the fight. "Lift-off" cannot happen when your gaze is down.

Fall: it's so close when you find this on your windshield....(look close....acorns! too)

Love*: It is one of my most favorite things, which sounds silly and trite but I really do adore falling in, being in, and having people/things/places/food to love. One of my favorite artists -I should clarify that I like him for his quotes not particularly his art- so accurately describes love as this:

“I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand

& the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow.

I wish I had a thousand words for love,

but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep

& there are no words for that.”

-Brian Andreas-

*gag all you want, I won't blog barf like this very often, I just saw the quote for the first time in Annapolis today and wanted to remember it so I blogged it.

Wheaties: oh the slogan that has been used so much it is now timeless, -congratulations you are now in the same category as a little black dress, perfect red lipstick, and diamonds :) - "breakfast of champions". After weeks of protein shakes, or grapenuts with plain greek yogurt, I had this for breakfast.

Notice on the Dr. Pepper it says, "Every Bottle Wins", ya after chugging that I feel like a real winner.

Mmmmmm: I adore quite places in this bustling city that are peaceful regardless of the time of day. Rocking chairs by a fountain that looks like it was plucked from Versailles...yep je t'adore....(and might I add if I were a princess this would be in my backyard and I could swim in it).

What does one do on a Saturday? this:

*Eastern market full sour pickles and old fashioned donuts and trying out furniture with friends at IKEA. My friend is small and I am not so we both checked each piece to insure maximum comfort regardless of size*

No this did not come from the previously mentioned Gas Mitt...this little beaut was courtesy of 120 c boiling sugar that was shall we say, misplaced. Just thought I would share

Dear Sunco by the Cafe Rio in Olney,

I am writing to thank you for having these handy little buggers right by the Diesel pump. (and no I wasn't at the wrong pump my car does take diesel) These mittens were intriguing, surprising, and they made it so much harder to pump my gas.! None the less, every time I fill up at your establishment-which will be whenever I am at Cafe Rio because your diesel is $.15 less than any other station-I will put on a "Gas Mitt" because they make pumping gas a challenge.

MK

Silence: days are so filled. Filled with cars, noise, tasks, lists. At times they are filled by subconscious choice to cover up something that we don't want to, or can't process at that moment. Turning the radio off, leaving great gaps of unoccupied time, living for brief moments in silence...it is not easy nor comfortable, but when you are ready to face the silence, you find the bits of you that you thought were lost. Well maybe you won't but I did. Today, after a few months of allowing quiet back into my life, I decided it was time to get back to the favorite parts of "me".....this little bit may just be my favorite part:

(first cake order I have accepted in a while...it was for baby Evie)

Genius: "Oh this old thing, I've had it forever" no you lying snake! it's new. Everyone who has ever said that is lying (me included), and everyone who has ever heard that knows you are lying! So I have come up with a plan....a genius plan....get a storage shed and charge people a minimal fee to keep their stuff in the shed until their stuff becomes "old". For some this may be a week others a month or a year then, at the end of their allotted time they can take their stuff home and voila...no more lying! Their stuff is now "old".

Paul: hate the name...I think of it being sandwiched between Peter and Mary. I think of it wearing a stripped knit shirt with mustard colored pants and black framed glasses while playing baseball with the kids from The Sandlot. I think of it winning a science fair because it made a rocket out of old railroad ties it lathed in an abandoned warehouse, the year is 1968. You get my thought process??? Well I now think of all that and this when I hear that name...

(801 Pennsylvania Ave Washington, DC)

1. pain aux raisins: [B] good texture, overall great flavor, a bit too much apricot gel on the top but it sure did make that sucker glisten, and I would have like a bit more cream.

2. almond croissant: [A-] it was just as they usually are in France, flat and flavorful. This usually bugs Americans because we want almondy and puffy flakey and that just doesn't happen because an almond croissant it baked then sliced, filled, dipped, and baked again..how can it remain puffy flakey after all that? It can't! That is why in it's perfect way it is flat flakey. There wasn't a disc of marzapan in the center like we are used to, instead it was a true almond cream. voila et merci Paul.

3. canele:[A] this little guy resembles a mini bundt cake and leaves many questioning its purpose on a pastry shelf, "what is that" and the answer is, bliss. Caramelized outside with a baked custard inside that is dense and unparalleled in texture and taste. I will order this every time because so far Paul makes it the best this side of Bordeaux.

Baths: the thought of having to sit in my own dead skin cells until hot water turns tepid in a tub that is too short, is simply vile. I shower regularly but rarely bathe for these reasons. Today however, was a "rarely" sort of day. The B&B had a tub that was long enough and so in the spirit of Labor Day, I had to give it a try.

White-Trash if this term disturbs or offends you, it is probably because it hits too close to home! For me it is life lately. Being a Nomad finds me more often then I would like ! but back to the matter at hand, within all of us is a little white trash. It may be a dumpster with built in compactor or a little pail, but each of us have some quantity of it within our lives. Here are a few of the evidences of it in mine:

1.

yes, in my car door I keep my Guerlain perfume and in those little bags to the left:earrings, and rings.

2.

yes, in my bag I keep my make-up and my deodorant NOT so I can re-apply like a normal girl, but because while

rushing out the door I usually forget one or both and don't realize it until about noon when I think, "why the schmutz am I sweating so bad" or I glance in the mirror and, "are you freakin' kidding me I only drew on one eyebrow today! crap" then I fix what I forgot.

3.

yes, in the back seat of my car there are currently about 6 outfits crammed into a Trader Joe's bag it is acting as my closet. Tidy, no?

You are welcome.